BooksBarbecue
Back Suzy Suzy Save as PDF
Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

And by then Holly was actually dating Tosser, which was so totally random I couldn’t believe it. Like dating Tosser is crossing the very last red line of all the red lines. Is it even possible for a human? Who knew it could happen? I asked her if they’d done it and she just smiled. Like nobody tells me anything. It was May and the exams were coming close and everybody was a bit stressed. I went to Serena’s house and we were going to study together. Like Serena is almost as good as me except she doesn’t have the photographic memory shit. She really has to work hard at it. Her dad wasn’t there and her mam was out at some Morning, like a Coffee Morning or a Gin Morning, whatever kind of Mornings she does. She was in a Book Club too, as well as the Golf Club and the Tennis Club and the Sailing Club. The Mornings were usually For Charity. She was in the Lions Club. She’s the kind of mother you read about on Mumsnet.

Serena couldn’t believe Holly and Tosser were going out. Like Tosser is twenty-two and Holly is eighteen. I said there was no law against it. She asked me if they did anything and I said I didn’t ask Holly about that, it was her business. Like, were they even kissing? She couldn’t imagine Holly being a good kisser. I said, Oh she’s a good kisser all right, the best.

Oh fuck, Serena said, you did her didn’t you? You did her and you wouldn’t do me. Bitch I own you.

I shrugged. I said nothing. She stared at me. Then she said, I want one lesbian experience before I marry Jack.

This was news to me.

Why would you marry Jack?

He’s the father of my baby.

I looked at her. She was like totally flat. She didn’t even have a tummy. I said, You’re not pregnant.

I am.

You don’t look it.

It’s not showing yet. I missed my last two periods.

I looked at her again. Even for three months she was too flat. Maybe she was a bit bigger on top. My cousin was completely flat until about three months though, and later she was huge. She had preeclampsia. I googled it. It is serious. On Mumsnet it is like nuclear. Everybody was worried but it all went fine in the end and the baby is a dote. Her name is Eve. Holly says they should have called her Adam and the next one Eve. First things first, she says.