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Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

So I was thinking about the black lady and watching The Dog snuffling along the river bank. Her name is Sarah. I was just standing there in the middle of this rough field in the shelter of a furze bush when I noticed something in The Dog’s mouth. It was a purse. I took it from him. I had to slap him on the nose to get it. It was a cheap purse and there was money in it and a mascara tube and other stuff and a pack of Durex Tingle Me with Minty Lube for a Tingly Sensation. It was a twelve pack and just for fun I counted them and there were twelve. The twelve apostles. I thought about keeping a few and then I thought what if there’s a body in the furze and this is evidence? It would be evidence tampering. All the programmes are very strong about evidence tampering, like The Wire and idk detective thingies. I dropped the purse. I walked all around the furze clump trying to see in. When I got back to where I dropped the purse it was gone.

My face just went cold from the top down. I started to shake. There was no house that could see into Regan’s Glen. Where I was standing you couldn’t even see the road.

I started to call The Dog. I tried to whistle but my lips were too hard. My throat was dry.

I ran around the furze.

Like idk why I ran around the furze. There was nothing there.

Then I saw The Dog with the purse. He was lying down eating it. He was down by the stream. I ran down but he ran away. I ran after him. It was getting dark and he was too fast. So I pretended I was going home. I whistled and this time my lips worked. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. After a while he turned up to come home with me with his tail wagging. Like I’m supposed to be pleased to see him. He was probably thinking of his dinner. I grabbed him by the collar and went back down the field to find the purse. I couldn’t find it. I even thought I should let him go and see if he’d find it but I knew he’d do a runner again. I could have sworn I knew exactly where he was eating it last. But it was gone. And it was dark. I went home. I was thinking I should phone the guards. Who throws away a purse with money in it?

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