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Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

You’ll find out soon enough if she’s an airhead. She’ll be writing to you. She’ll be looking for discovery of documents. I have a right to them as a director. Get on to Molloy and remind him you donated at the last election.

I already did. He told me it was the Revenue and he had his own share of worries. You know that old-folks home that was on the telly? He’s a director there. Non-Exec.

He’s a useless fucker anyway, my mam said. He’d only screw everything up.

My father sat down at the kitchen table. In the window behind his head I saw two blue-tits making out, or at least thinking about making out. They were flying around each other the way you can make two hands turn around each other. Like if you were cold. But they were excited. Spring was beginning. It was all happening for them.

You want me to go again? he said.

She looked at him and then she seemed to notice me. She looked at me for an awful long time. I held my breath until I had to let it go. Then she said, No. Stay if you like.

I heard him breathing again too. He said, We’ll work something out.

I’m going to the Revenue separately. I’m going to make my own case. You can do your silence routine for yourself, but I’m going to hang you. You’re the one who didn’t pay your tax, not me.

45

Then everything seemed to be good again idk they didn’t fight. It was like restructuring was in progress. A new and better kind of Mam and Dad. But after a few days I started to worry that there was no fighting. It was unnatural. And my dad was like a zombie. Not like a zombie because of drugs. It was just he didn’t seem to react to anything. Like he was cold idk or somewhere else. Once I swear I saw him park the car in the drive outside and bounce his head off the steering wheel twice. It’s a leather-coated wheel though, so I don’t think he did much damage. There is something wrong I know.

Is there like a time when you’re grown up when you know what’s going on? When it’s not so scary?

Another time I saw him in the bathroom. He was standing at the sink just looking at himself in the mirror. The door was open. He didn’t see me. I don’t know how long he was standing there.

In bed I’d listen all the time they were downstairs and when they went up I listened for as long as I could stay awake. I knew I shouldn’t listen.