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Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

We found the purse. It was so cool, they had those plastic gloves like you see. I told them that I went through it with my bare hands and they said I would have to be fingerprinted to eliminate my prints. So cool. Serena would just die. Holly didn’t like the guards so she’d be like so what. But I could see myself being fingerprinted and getting my mugshot. Would they give me a copy to take home? Like, Hi Serena, want to see my fingerprints and mugshot and stuff?

They looked in and found the card and they looked at each other.

That’s her, the Guard said.

Right, Sharon said to me, back to the car, this is a crime scene now.

I was like in heaven. Me at a crime scene. I wanted to take a selfie but I didn’t think it would be allowed. It would be a hit on Facebook.

They’d be taking a statement from me, Sharon said. She was the higher-up, it looked like, which was a surprise. The fat guard was older than her.

The guards dropped me home and the first phone call I got was exactly at the end of school from Serena. Like LOL. What happened? I saw you going away in a squad car? OMG. The murder! The MURDER!

And later I found out the woman was killed somewhere and all her stuff and her clothes were taken and they were searching the area for a radius of miles and asking for anyone with information that might be relevant to come forward, and it turned out that her body was badly cut up, according to a neighbour of a friend of the man who found her, blood everywhere and stark naked. The neighbour of the friend of the man said she was hot too. Which, when you come to think of it, is weird af. Saying it, I mean. Or even thinking it. He was out walking the dog. It is always dog-owners who find dead bodies, which is one of the reasons I am Totally Not Keen On Walking The Dog In Lonely Places. But in a way The Dog walks me. I always expected a body, I just ended up finding the purse instead.

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