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Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

Holly came to the funeral. Only for Holly. She is the best. She held my hand like it was made of glass. She would never break it.

Even Miss Morocco came. I saw her at the back of the crowd, a little piece of grace and calm way out by the railings. She had her baby in a sling. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to ask her about my dad. Like did he have a good side? But families of dead people have a duty to stand at the edge of the grave until the whole shaking hands thing is over. By then she was gone.

My mam never cried the funeral.

I made up for her though. Holly gave me tissues. And Serena was totalled. I whispered: Get a grip, Serena, FFS he was MY dad not yours.

And she sobbed out loud: I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

FFS.

People were probably thinking: Did someone die on her too?

I always cry. I cried John Brown’s like shit and I cried my grandad’s.

Serena is as white as the snow. I don’t know why I love her but I do. I thought she was the one who would die first. She is so thin I don’t know what’s holding her up, even if she has bones any more, and her eyes have that greyed-out look like ashes. Tbh she looks like a biter from the Walking Dead. She cried when she saw me crying and we hugged and hugged. She still does not look pregnant and idk which is better to be pregnant and her dad will kill her or to think being pregnant is better than being Serena all alone. Then my mam announced that there would be refreshments at the hotel and Serena whispered to me, I’m getting morning sickness bad. And over her shoulder I saw Dan Kelleher the auctioneer in his Crombie overcoat, standing at the very back. And I started to wonder, who would the Revenue employ to sell my dad’s houses? And I wondered if he’d get Castlemartin now. Now that my dad wasn’t pissing on him any more.

78

And there was like a funeral party in the hotel. On the way there in the back seat of idk a funeral car, like a funeral car is also a wedding car, my mam put her arm around me and said we all needed to stick together, we’d manage. I didn’t want to kill her any more. Enough death already my conscience said to me. She still had her job, she said, and Computing Solutions was being very good. She had funeral leave or something. We would manage. Maybe she always loved me, who knows. I never know anything in my family. And tbf I don’t think she hates me. Not really. It’s just I’m some kind of a disappointment to her.