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Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

I checked the number in my address book and it wasn’t there. It definitely wasn’t Serena’s number which was a relief. I decided not to tell my mam or Tony but I decided to check Mam’s Huawei when she wasn’t looking. I put the phone in a drawer and got down to my revision. It was the first properly hot day of May. It was also almost the last day of May. June and exams were like something hard in my belly that I wanted to throw up but it wouldn’t come. I would go to university in four months. And then my life would really begin. Even now I felt like a different person idk some sort of different girl to the me that was around for the previous eighteen years more or less. Maybe not having a dad does that to you.

80

The bitch wasn’t on Mam’s phone either and she wasn’t on Tony’s for sure. There were like four girls on Tony’s and maybe five hundred men. Definitely some of them were complete strangers, maybe from Grindr or something. But Páraic was the only guy he called. It felt weird to be looking at my brother’s life all tied up in a set of telephone numbers that nobody but himself knew anything much about. It was like the iceberg. All that ice below the water. I saw it on a Titanic documentary. Except my guess was it was fire for Tony. Since he started seeing Páraic he was even studying. I’d say Páraic would keep his nose to the grindstone. Teachers right?

So I was coming round to the idea that I should ring her up. Except no way she’d answer to a mobile call from a dead man. Like imagine if they accidentally buried the phone with him and he started ass-calling. I don’t know if they get a signal down there.

Same difference for texts. Holly wanted me to do it. She thought it was hilarious. She wanted me to to say the thing about Lazarus from ‘The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock’, the one about coming back from the dead and telling everything. It would probably kill her and I didn’t want to kill anyone. If my dad liked her idk maybe I would too, maybe it’s genetic. But I wanted to hate her straight up no shit, I wanted that all right. She would be the first person killed by Prufrock. My guess was he wasn’t up for it either.

I didn’t sleep for a week. Like I’m a bad sleeper anyway. Me sitting on my bed crying. And my mam sitting in Dad’s study crying. Three o’clock in the morning at my house.

81