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Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

Sometimes Serena is so pale it looks like all you’re seeing is the bone. Like one time I saw a human bone in a graveyard. I think it was human anyway. I didn’t look at it for long. Maybe it was an animal, like a sheep bone idk. It was the colour of dirty chalk. That is Serena’s face on those days. Maybe she is anaemic. Or constipated idk or maybe she doesn’t sleep. History does not record.

17

My dad’s heart attack went well. Or so I believe. He got a stent and they told him to stay away from work for a while. Which He Did Not Do. It’s not that my dad does much work, it’s just there’s really nothing else in his life except driving around to look at places for sale, arguing with tenants and seeing solicitors about evictions. The evening he came home from hospital was one of those cold clear January days when it looks like the distance is made of glass. My mam drove him home. He looked thinner, paler, maybe a bit older too. Or just a bit angrier. I think he was angry at his heart for letting him down. My dad’s heart has always been strong. Like he always thought he was some kind of Transformer, or like the droid in Chappie. I saw the trailer. It looks like crap. It’s just boys are into machines killing things. Like Transformers. The autobots and the decepticons going for it like there was no tomorrow. That and calling each other cunts. I don’t get it.

They also told him To Lose Weight. When I saw him in his pyjamas sitting up in one of those really narrow hospital beds I thought his belly would just pour out over the sides. How come I never noticed that happening? My dad is fat like in American TV shows. I blame Colonel Grace. My mam thinks KFC is a good way to feed a family of four. But maybe you get that way from sitting all day in a Lexus and only getting to tell people they are in breach of contract. Or maybe it’s The Crash. Maybe it’s the Revenge Of The Tenant. Or The Bank. In this country Banks are shit even at making money. Like what else is a bank for? Love and affection? Maybe my dad was always fat idk. Whatever, he is a tub of lard and it’s surprising that his heart can even get up in the morning.