BooksBarbecue
Back Suzy Suzy Save as PDF
Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

Holly’s mam and dad go on marches. Sometimes Holly goes too. Once she WhatsApped me a pic of herself with some famous political guy. Her dad makes jokes like: Why do socialists drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft. I don’t get it. Even when Holly explains it to me I don’t get it. It is not like me to miss a joke. I say Mam and Holly says Mammy. But she wouldn’t kill either of her parents. It’s like the model of a normal family only weird. Like keeping pigs. Growing potatoes. Keeping bees. Sometimes her mam picks her up from school on the first day of her period. It’s weird idk maybe it’s what you do if you’re an anarchist. They are leftover hippies. But tbh I like them. Her dad lives in a ratty cardigan and a parka jacket. He smells nice. My dad smells of Brut and Right Guard, so many ways to fill your armpits with great-smelling, odour-fighting, high-fiving, rim-hanging, trash-talking, ball-spiking, pointing-to-the-crowd confidence and protection.

I googled it.

I know. I’m the superbitch googler. I’m OCD tbh. I’m like addicted to Google. I’ve even contributed to Google Translate. For Irish. I have Google set to Gaeilge. The ten things we know to be true. #1 Focus on the user and all else will follow. Google is my past, my wider resource community, my answer to everything. Except you never get actual answers. Should I have lesbian sex with my best friend? Answers: Should I have called in sick to have lesbian sex with my best friend? Me and my friend had the most amazing sex ever. It happened to me: I’m a lesbian pillow princess. The thirty-four signs you are actually dating your best friend. I have nine of them. FFS. Great just isn’t good enough.