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Back Suzy Suzy
Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

Our Maths book has like a mistake in every problem. Or every second one. It would go: A normal distribution has mean –x 45 and standard deviation 5. (i) Find the range within which 72% of the distribution lies. (ii) Find the range within which 90% of the distribution lies. (iii) What percentage of the distribution lies within 3 standard deviations of the mean? And the fucking answer to (i) would be outside the given range. Ditto for (ii). It’s like it was written by a government economist. One of those guys who is surprised that the arse fell out of the world one fine night when he thought the Celtic Tiger Would Last Until The Day Of Judgement. It’s like our textbook is a prophet of the Armageddon to come. No matter what your numbers tell you, it says, the answer will be a disaster.

I tried Serena’s birthday and it worked. The startup sound was like an electric shock. It came alive in my hand. I didn’t know what to think. I knew from Maths that in a group of twenty-three (like my class) the probability of two people sharing the same birthday was 50%, but what was it for sharing the same year?

That old iPhone home screen. I knew everything about it. It is designed to warm your heart. There were twenty-seven text messages and forty-one missed calls. The calls were all from one number. I looked at the text messages.

There were eight from the day he died.

Where are you?

Anser FFS im waiting for u at the house

Ur late??!!

Fuck u.

Why dont u anser?

R u ok?

Tell me ur ok

Matt?

I wanted to text back: I’m fucking dead bitch. But I didn’t do it. I scrolled back and back. They were mostly making dates.

See you at 7?

Yay

How about 7.15?

CYA then

Delayed at meeting

Fun