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Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

I said there was no harm in asking.

When you showed me your cuts, like, are you still cutting?

I said no. I was clean for two months at that point.

In fact I stopped after the night I slashed myself. The night Dad lied to the guards in the hope of getting Tom Bowles arrested and getting a chance to buy Ballyshane again. That was soooo weird, my dad getting this big plot going in which he was going to frame an innocent man for a murder he did not commit. It could have been The Fugitive but really it was like something out of Only Fools and Horses which is on repeat again and which I love. I totally want to marry Rodney Trotter. I can’t resist a plonker.

What about you?

Naw, she said, I’m clean too.

But I knew she wasn’t. I said, Did Jack see your scars?

She said he did. He was cool with them. He said it made him love her more. He had cuts on his thighs too but he said that he hadn’t done anything since they started going out.

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t even think of rolling my eyes.

Serena was making mental teddy bears. We all make mental teddy bears for comfort. Otherwise everything would be unbearable. We are girls and we are surrounded by people who want to do things to us. That is the world. Just think about it. Imagine you’re a seventeen-year-old boy in football shorts walking down a dark road at night. It’s a country road. Cars are passing on their way home from the pub. Now imagine you’re a girl in a miniskirt.

Who made this world the way it is? Not Serena or me or Holly. We’re just trying to get along, making things up as we go, little stories to make the night seem friendly.

What will your dad say?

She thought for a minute. She was looking at a page of French verbs, présent, futur, futur antérieur, imparfait, passé composé, passé simple, conditionnel. She’s crap at French. Then she said, I don’t know what the future holds but just now I need to be strong.

I thought, What crap! I knew she would say something like that. I almost expected her to point at the future tense. Je serai, tu seras, il sera. Deep down Serena is shallow. She is the Princess of Cliché.