So they arrested some guy who worked in the accounts department of Lidl. Choose to live a little, as the ad says. Maybe he shouldn’t have swallowed his own crappy advertising. It was on the news. The guards must have believed my story and not Dad’s. That was a surprise. I didn’t think anyone believed me ever. And even I don’t believe Serena. And everyone in my school was like, OMG he was packing shelves when I was there, I saw him. Or, OMG he was looking right at me. This is my school, which is one hundred per cent girl except for a few teachers like Leary who doesn’t count. We All Saw Him And He Looked Straight At Us. Several girls knew he was an axe-murderer or whatever all along. They felt it, like The Force or something, like they just sensed that he was a rapist. As you do. There was a even a few thought he was nice. And someone in second year was Related To Him By Marriage. Her third cousin was married to the guy’s aunt.

And Serena called me up one day and asked if we could be friends again and she was sorry and she loved me and she would never want to hurt me. Ever.

First I said, Whatevs, and then I got conscience and said I was sorry too.

I didn’t know what we were sorry about, but it doesn’t hurt to apologise for something you can’t remember. So she started crying on the phone. She has a liquidity problem big time. She’s a full-time crisis. She said she felt so guilty but she wouldn’t say why. I guessed it was because of all the lies. So I said, So you’re not pregnant? And that only made it worse. It was legit impossible to understand a word she said. Except towards the end she said, I did something awful, I’m so sorry. Then she hung up.