And after school we went into town instead of getting the bus and we Presented Ourselves At The Station ^—^. The station was not anything like on telly. You walked in the door of this crappy building and there was a big counter like a post office, and a noticeboard with posters about Firearms Licences and Help Numbers and A Missing Dog, and behind the counter there was a Huge Map and two scabby filing cabinets. And There Was No One There. On telly there’s always people moving around and slagging each other off. We pressed a button and we heard a buzzer somewhere else and after a few minutes a small fat man in a uniform came out.

What can I do for you kids?

Kids, Serena said, we’re like fucking seniors in our school. In six months we’ll be in university.

He winked at her. But Policemen Never Wink.

Don’t be using language now. It’s unbecoming in a lady.

I said, We want to confess.

He smiled. Now what have you to confess?

We did something, Serena said. Aren’t you supposed to tell us we don’t have to say anything but anything we do say may be taken down and used against us in a court of law?

Yeah, I said, we’re entitled to be cautioned. It’s a human right.

Don’t believe everything you see on TV, he said.

Do you want to hear our confession or not?

Fire away so girls. In your own good time. In nominy patry et filiy et spirity sancty amen. He made the sign of the cross at us and winked. How long is it since your last confession, ladies?

I said, I feel your pain. But I’m an atheist.

He just looked at me. I looked at him. I was thinking, ffs if this is the standard of the justice system. Guards are knobheads.

He picked up a pen but I noticed he didn’t write anything down. Like two girls must walk into his station every day and confess to something. It wasn’t until we mentioned the date and Ballyshane that he woke up. He told us to sit down for a minute. There was someone would want to talk to us. He came back with a man. The man had a different accent, like maybe Dublin.

I’m thinking, This is more like it.