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Back Suzy Suzy Save as PDF
Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

I covered it with Elastoplast but it leaked. I panicked and put two more Elastoplasts on it. I tried to pull the edges together with the sticking plaster. I remembered reading somewhere that you could do it with Superglue, but I didn’t think we had any. It was eleven thirty at night. What if I bled to death in my sleep? I googled deep wounds but I couldn’t look at that stuff. I thought, If I die at least they’ll know they fucked me up big time. I thought about writing a suicide note. But, like what if I didn’t die, I would feel so stupid tomorrow. And my mam would kill me. Then the blood stopped leaking and I had time to think about the pain. Note to self: Never do this again. Like I actually wrote that on my phone and saved it as a reminder. It was so sore. At least I wouldn’t end up going to Accident and Emergency. That’s where they took my brother. He had to have his head X-rayed. I bet a million they found it was completely empty. Not worth the X-ray. No brain, no brain damage. They let him out as fast as they took him in. My dad collected him. Sometimes babies are born without a brain – I remember that from my baby phase. Anencephaly. The condition of having all or part of the cerebral hemispheres absent. There was a boy who lived to be twelve. He just never had a thought.

The pain kept me awake and so I heard my brother coming home at two in the morning. Tosser Kennedy was the Designated Driver. I watched them. Tosser and my brother sat in the car for five minutes, then my brother got out. He was seriously drunk. Like when he got out of the car he tried to lean on the door to say something to Tosser and he missed the door and fell face first back in. Then he got out by going on his knees. This is how I see it: my brother is falling into a deep well, when he will reach the bottom nobody knows. Some evening I will come home from school and my mam will be watching the Bake Off and she’ll say, Your brother is dead. Then she’ll flick the channels.

OK, that’s not possible. She would be Freaking, she wouldn’t just be sitting there. And my dad would stay in the office until very late so he wouldn’t have to deal with it. And someone would blame me. But really it’s all of us, my brother included.