To everyone’s surprise except me, my brother broke up with his girlfriend. I don’t know why. It cast a gloom over the entire family including The Dog. But Not Me. My dad was eyeing that Audi dealership her father had. And my mam drives Audi. All that Vorsprung durch Technik. Whatever that means. But it’s in German so it must be good right? The German teachers in my school are all Nazis. You hear them screaming because someone forgot part of her uniform. Like her tie. Why do girls have to wear ties anyway? She said to Holly: Rules are rules, and we all agree to the rules so you must obey. Like who agreed? Miss Philpott would send you to the gas chambers for not having a tie or for tucking your skirt up into the waist to make a mini. Mr Leary made a joke once upon a time about Hitler’s speech at Nuremberg, like we did a case study on the Nuremberg Rallies. We were listening to Miss Philpott next door freaking about something. He sort of brushed his hair the way Hitler did and made a moustache with his finger and with the other hand he did the chopping-like gestures that old Adolf was so fond of and said, Ze uniform Nazis vill be holding a rally lader to check if the mädchens are vearing their knickerz. We all giggled, not because it was funny, which nothing Leary does is, but because Leary said knickers. Leary is all right. The next week he showed us a bit of this film about Nuremberg and sure enough they had the same uniform as us. Well, it was black and white. And we have a German girl in my school and she’s really chilled and when she hears Miss Philpott doing her Hitler thing she’s like, What the absolute fuck? Except in a real German accent. I didn’t tell anyone my brother’s girlfriend was allowing hate messages about him on her Facebook page. And my dad got into some kind of trouble idk. I came home from school after a shit day and I heard my mam shouting at him in the bedroom. She was saying, You stupid, stupid man, you thick bastard, Jesus Christ, did you think you’d get away with it? More stuff like that.