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Back Suzy Suzy Save as PDF
Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

To stay awake we made up names of books for porn: Hard Time by Nobby DickIn, and the sequel Harder Time, Knobhanger Alley by Jane AssTon, CurlyOldAnus by William ShagsPair. Then we told jokes. When we ran out of jokes we googled them. Some interesting ones turned up. Like I didn’t know that strap-on backwards is no-parts. It’s easy to stay awake when you want to sleep but when you want to stay awake you keep falling asleep. Then we watched Creepy YouTube Videos with the Sound Off. Serena practically has her own channel. She majors in Shit That Makes Me Sick. The creepiest was one called Crooked Rot which featured a Play-Doh head with a bloody tube going into its brain. I swear. I had to close my eyes. Then there were ones about squeezing pimples. Idk. Serena worries me, she really does. But then I worry me too.

She told me she registered with alt.com. She showed it to me. It had a photo of a girl with a dog’s collar and the leash in her hand. The girl’s cheeks were blushing. She was naked. The text said: Find who shares your kinks, 1,186,040 Active Members. Join For Free. Her username was Hrt.me.Hrt.me. She wanted to click Login but I said, Enough already. It’s time to go. She went. I’m guessing that the fire kink was stronger than whatever she had going on alt.com.

We got dressed and went downstairs. I already disabled the alarm just after Mam and Dad went to bed. I pretended I was just checking that it was on. I’m slightly paranoid, so…

Outside we walked on the grass not the gravel. My dad imported the gravel from The Isle Of Wight. It is this incredible golden-brown colour and I googled it and it’s practically an endangered species, they have to scoop it up from the bottom of the English Channel. It is one of the stand-out features of our property, if we ever went to sell it, a gravel feature. Like we also have a pond feature and a gazebo feature and in the sitting room we have a fireplace feature. I get to read all the property specs while I’m driving home with Dad. It’s all he has to read.

We didn’t walk on the gravel feature because it makes a sound.

The grass was crispy af from frost.

I said, It’s going to be cold up Ballyshane.

I don’t know why but I was suddenly hungry. I could murder for an apple turnover.