BooksBarbecue
Back Suzy Suzy Save as PDF
Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

Serena has a dinosaur onesie, like with dinosaur-coloured scales on the back and a tail. The hoodie has a sort of head on it. With a beak and eyes. It is the scariest thing you could possibly wake up to. I always sleep in my T-shirt and panties but because I’m sharing a bed with Serena I wear my jammies. So we get in and turn the light out. I’m really tired but Serena wants to talk about my dad’s heart attack and his stent. She found an amaaaazing video of open heart surgery. You can see the heart beating. It’s an operation in India and all the doctors and nurses are Indian. I said I imagined the patient was Indian too and she said you couldn’t see because he was all covered in green cloth. I said I was joking and she bitch-slapped me on the shoulder, not hard because she was lying beside me. And they had a big square hole in the chest with a set square or something to measure it. And everybody was totally cool like it was someone cutting up a chicken.

I said I didn’t want to know but she kept going. Serena is psycho, like if you look up psycho on Wikipedia you’re looking at a description of Serena. She has NO empathy with another human being. Or an animal. She has no idea what goes on in someone else’s head.

I said: Serena, my dad had a fucking heart attack, OK? Like the whole Ballyshane thing nearly killed him. I don’t want to know about the inside of his heart? OK?

So then she noticed I was shaking and she was all over me. She started FUCKING HUGGING ME and calling me BABY. Jesus wept twice.

I sat up. I said, Serena, I just want to go to sleep. I don’t want to know what the inside of my dad’s fucking chest looks like. So drop it, OK?

She rolled over onto her side and pretended to be falling asleep. So I did the same. After like three minutes she said, Are you really a lezzer?

Go to sleep.

Like, I’m wondering what it’s like. Is it like sex?

Well, I said, you don’t get a dick inside you…

So you are.

She sat up again. I knew it, I fucking knew it. Who did you do? Was it Holly? Of course it was Holly, who else for fuck’s sake. What’s she like?

Serena, if you google lesbian porn you will see that they don’t have dicks.

Except for strap-ons.

They’re strap-ons not dicks.

So you’re not lesbian? Yes or no? I have to know.

Why?

Because I want to try it.

Well don’t fucking try it on me. Stay in that fucking dinosaur or I’ll kill you I swear.