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Back Suzy Suzy Save as PDF
Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

Someone will kill my mother. It could be me. There is something wrong with me I know, but I see my dad thinking about it too. Only my brother loves her and she loves him idk it must be a mother-son thing like you see. She thinks she is so hot. She comes home from work full of testosterone or whatever, and if someone didn’t already cook the dinner, do the washing, hoover everything including the underside of the cushions Where Dust Collects and take The Dog for a walk, it’s the end of the world and there will be Shouting and Insults and People Will End Up Crying, usually me. She works for a computer company, you can’t even get into her office without a retina scan, it terrifies me so I never go in. What if they can read something in your eyes? You can tell a lot from a person’s eyes, like the secrets of their heart, or so I believe. Eyes can lie too, everybody knows that, but not mine. I don’t think I have the brains to hide anything from anybody, I always get caught. And I have secrets. I feel like getting a retina scanner for my bedroom. Access denied, Mam. I’ve asked them to give me a flat. Like they have so many flats and houses. They’re always evicting someone. My dad does evictions like Terminator Three For Tenants In Arrears. He is a Property Addict. He can’t stop buying houses because the Housing Market Crashed and Everything Is SO Cheap. It’s like a hobby, it’s disgusting, and we keep reading about people who don’t have homes to go to. We even debated The Housing Crisis in Religion class. My Mam Never Tires Of Telling Me our religion teacher is a commie, which is ironic when you come to think of it, and she says nobody would have houses if it wasn’t for people like Dad. And I think maybe my dad is causing it. Like single-handedly causing the shortage because he owns like everything almost. My dad says nothing, he just goes to the solicitors and comes home with another three-bed semi in a desirable area. He has the property gene bad. I heard someone on the radio talking about it. It goes back to the Great Famine apparently, but I don’t know why my dad got it because he was never hungry a day in his life.

You just have to look at him to know that.

Like my dad has baby bellies where he should have love handles.