Chapters (116)
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Dedication
- PART 1
- 1. Angst
- 2. Angst and the Journey
- 3. A Girl Is Mildly Traumatized
- 4. A Girl Is Off to Colorado, Apparently
- 5. Angst and Socializing
- 6. A Girl Is Here for the Introspection
- 7. Angst and the Shower Girl
- 8.???
- 9. Angst and Fishing
- 10. A Girl Is Sampling Sisterhood
- 11. Angst and Swimming
- 12. Is a Girl Alive?
- 13. Angst and All-Consuming Confusion
- 14. A Girl Is Clammy
- 15. Angst and Older Sisters
- 16. A Girl Has Been Caught Off Guard
- 17. Angst and Flashbacks
- 18. A Girl Is Trying to Reconnect
- 19. Angst and Reprocessing
- 20. A Girl Is a Little Disoriented
- 21. Angst and Hypothetical Miracles
- 22. A Girl Is Not Doing That
- 23. Angst and Fire Choir
- 24. A Girl Is Rapt with Attention
- 25. Angst and Metal
- PART 2
- 26. A Girl Is Playing the Long Game
- 27. Angst and Hikes
- 28. A Girl Thinks This Pitch Is Going Well
- 29. Angst and Saying Yes
- 30. A Girl Is on Her Ass
- 31. Angst and Cellular Device Access
- 32. Angst and Goodbyes
- 33. A Girl Is on a Plane
- 34. Angst and the Middle Seat
- 35. A Girl Doesn’t Understand Your Compliment
- 36. Angst and LAX
- 37. A Girl Is Going to Implode if Siri Keeps Ignoring Her Calls
- 38. A Girl Has Never Been to Her Mom’s House
- 39. Angst and Salons
- 40. A Girl Appreciates a Donut
- 41. Angst and Jamie’s Room
- 42. Angst and Dad
- 43. A Girl Can Rock a Catfish
- 44. Angst and Rom-Coms
- 45. A Girl Needs Adventure
- 46. Angst and Improv Practice
- 47. A Girl Fancies Zarar
- 48. Angst and Empathy
- 49. A Girl Is Questioning Everything
- 50. Angst and Pizza Hangs
- 51. A Girl Is Taking All the Calls
- 52. Angst and Good/Bad News
- 53. Angst and Preparation
- 54. A Girl Needs to Do Better
- 55. A Girl Is on Time for Once
- 56. Angst and Emails
- 57. A Girl Gets Feedback
- 58. Angst and Expectations
- 59. A Girl Is on the Train Again
- 60. Angst and a Barbecue
- 61. A Girl Does Family Dinner
- 62. A Girl Is Braving Another Open Mic
- 63. Angst and Ice Cream
- 64. A Girl Needs a Break
- 65. Angst and Vulnerability
- 66. A Girl Is at a Rooftop Soiree
- 67. Angst and Ideas
- 68. A Girl Is Conflicted
- 69. Angst and Storytime
- 70. A Girl Is Inferior
- 71. Angst and Preparations
- 72. A Girl Meets a Family
- 73. A Girl Has Lost Control
- 74. A Girl Is a Hot Mess
- PART 3
- 75. Angst and Road Trips
- 76. A Girl Is Running on Fumes
- 77. Angst and Recall
- 78. A Girl Is Having Trouble with This
- 79. Angst and Resolve
- 80. Angst and Confrontation
- 81. A Girl Is Hanging with Her Family!
- 82. A Girl’s Head Is Spinning
- 83. A Girl Ruined Everything
- 84. Angst and Intervention
- 85. A Girl Is Not Sure How to Proceed
- 86. Angst and Support
- 87. A Girl Has Some Work to Do
- 88. Angst and Progress
- 89. A Girl Isn’t Tired
- 90. Angst and Birthdays
- 91. A Girl Is Voluntarily Here
- 92. A Girl Wants to Make It Better
- 93. Angst and Letting Go
- 94. A Girl Works a Meeting
- 95. Angst and Wine
- 96. A Girl Is Enjoying Herself
- 97. Angst and Bridges
- 98. A Girl Is Going for It
- 99. Angst and Los Angeles
- 100. Angst and Hope
- 101. A Girl Has One More Letter
- 102. A Girl Is Trying Again
- 103. Angst and Pride
- 104. A Girl Is Freaking Flying
- Epilogue
- JAMIE
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Christine Riccio
- About the Author
- Newsletter Sign-up
“Are you really carrying me right now, or am I hallucinating and you’ve wrapped me up in one of those mummy blankets and I’m being pulled behind you in a wagon?”
Zarar looks down at me. “I’m really carrying you.”
I close my eyes for a moment. “It’s kinda hot, but I don’t like it.”
“Do you think you can walk to Terry’s?” He comes to a stop and lowers me feet first.
“Yes,” I say resiliently as he sets me down.
Immediately my knees buckle. Zarar’s arm loops around my back.
“Has gravity doubled or is that just me?”
Zarar tilts his head to meet my gaze. “As far as I can gauge, gravity has remained constant.”
“That’s cool, good for gravity.” I lean into him heavily as I drag one foot in front of the other. He smells like the lake and the forest.
My head feels like it’s split above my eyebrow. “So, real talk, Zarar, how many women have you dropped your pamphlets in front of during your stint as fishing instructor?”
Zarar stops walking and takes a hasty step away. I list sideways, unable to stay upright sans human support wall.
“Well, it was nice knowing you,” I inform him as I droop down to a knee.
A second later I’m up again, his hand supporting my torso. “Sorry! You took me off guard, I don’t— How do you—? Did you see me with that Kelly girl on the trail?”
I pat his pec with my free hand, a lazy grin slipping up my cheek. “Jenga. And it all comes down.” I snort. “Relax, man. I did not, but I wish I did. Is that like, your signature move? Take a little tumble, give a graceful peek at the guns on the way up? Has it worked? Because it’s terrible. I need to know how many times you’ve succeeded.”
“It’s not a move,” he states defensively as we start to hobble forward again. “It’s hard to explain. I have this idea in my head, and this summer I’ve been trying to make it into a reality.”
We’re surrounded by green now. The newly risen sun has dialed up the saturation big time. Can’t appreciate it because pain is overwhelming. “Do tell,” I grind out. “Distract me, young sir.”
“I’m older than you.”
“How do you know?”
“How old are you?”
I glare up at him. “How dare you ask that of a lady.”
“I’m twenty-three,” he shares.
I nod. “Twenty.”