How to accomplish: Switch places. Impersonate until the landmine moment, & confront. On day 6 lure parents to mutual spot (Vegas?) for final mutual confrontation via catfishing maneuvers!

Preparations:

• Look more physically alike
• Trade physical possessions, and take each other’s flights home

Intel to dig for:

• How did parents meet? Dad always just says Thrones.
• Why and how did they decide to rip us apart the way they did, and what split them so hard?

Rules

• Email updates to each other once a day: Siri will email Jamie before bed in California, Jamie will respond in the morning East Coast time
• Each sister must prep catfish project to herd parents to Vegas, starting immediately upon arrival

28. A Girl Thinks This Pitch Is Going Well

JAMIE

September 3, Thursday Morning

Colorado

This hike has taken an exhilarating turn.

The trail we’ve been walking literally leads to the door of a weird, creepy, abandoned, windowless cabin. Prime.

And I’m fairly certain Siri is seriously considering my pitch.

On the “front lawn” of said creepy log cabin is a stone bench. That’s our current place of residence. We’ve been sitting here through ten riveting minutes of silence. Siri’s studying the outline I gave her like it holds the key to immortality.

I’m itching to check out the inside of this house. And trying really hard not to prod Siri for a response. I thought I was desperate before all this when I signed that damn contract to move back in with my dad, but begging my younger sister to switch places with me so I can briefly impersonate her and fulfill some weird revenge fantasy to then use in a comedy set? That’s desperate. This is desperate.

All these years there’s been a part of me that’s felt guilty for leaving my mom. It’s why I never bring her up. Or look her up on socials. Or have socials at all. But I didn’t leave, she let me go. Like I was an old favorite sweater that no longer sparked joy.

I need to do this.

I glance over at Siri for the hundredth time in the last ten minutes. She’s no longer studying the outline, she’s staring at me.

“Four days,” she says.

I blink. “What?”

“Let’s do four days and we switch back the fifth day.”

I put a hand to my heart. “Holy baloney bucket, are you saying yes, we can do this?” I wink at her. “See what I did there, de-vulgared for ya.”

“Four days, and then we come back together and ask for the trip,” she insists seriously.

Pure elation fills my chest. Oh my god. “I’m good with four days!”

Siri shudders on the end of the bench. “Okay.”

I hop to my feet. “Okay? Holy shit, YES!” I do a weird impromptu jig. “Thank you! Sier! Ah! This is just ace of aces! Thank you!”

Siri fiddles with her braid.