I watch as Siri veers off at the edge of the valley where the trail picks up in front of the student cabins. She heads to one four doors down from mine.

And Mom. She told my sister I was imaginary. I’ve had zero new set ideas because I can’t go an hour without thinking about it. There’s an angst bubble building in me that I can’t moonwalk away from.

Siri’s drama is contagious. If I wake up tomorrow with the urge to dress funeral casual, I’m gonna lose it—

I freeze mid-stride in the valley as an idea slaps into me so hard, I legitimately take a step back. I stare into the distance, letting the concept settle and solidify.

The potential comedy. The potential catharsis.

If I set it up right, if I pitch it correctly, I can make it happen.

Excitement scorches through me.

It will no doubt make for a spectacular new set.

23. Angst and Fire Choir

SIRI

August 30, Sunday Evening

Colorado

I open the cabin door to find my white sneakers and toiletries waiting on the ground. I glance around. Did Jamie leave them?

There’s a folded piece of paper in one of the shoes. I yank it out and open it feverishly, my heart pounding—it has to be her miracle. She does want to bond! She’s opening the door!

Let’s chat at Fire Choir! See you at 8!

Ugh. It’s not the miracle. I stuff the paper into my sweatshirt pocket.

As angry as I am at Jamie for … leaving with Dad and deleting me from her life, I want her to want me to be in it now. I want to be angry at her, but I want her to want to work it out. I want to hang out and get to know each other.

I want a sister.

Terry’s hosting Fire Choir. She’s strumming a guitar and the ten other retreaters around me are passionately singing along to a stripped-down version of the My Chemical Romance song “Welcome to the Black Parade.”

We’re all seated on big logs around a fire pit conveniently located at the heart of the valley between the retreater cabins and Terry’s place. There are marshmallows and sticks and all the other ingredients one might use to make a s’more. One by one, we’re supposed to suggest a song for Terry to play, and then explain why said song means something to us. She called it a team-building exercise. Or team bonding? Fun building? I don’t know.

I got here five minutes early and now it’s eight minutes past the hour. Where is Jamie? All of the cabins have wooden clocks on the walls. All of the main buildings have clocks somewhere mounted on the outside! They could not make it easier to be on time!