“Halt, I need to find a pen to take all this down.”

“You can keep the millennial bit,” Zarar adds as I continue to tear apart my backpack.

I glance up at him. “Oh, I can? Thanks.”

“I thought I was a millennial,” he says thoughtfully. Zarar puts his hand atop my frantic backpack-searching arm to get my attention.

I look up at him. “Congratulations, you didn’t make the cut.”

“You can take down notes on Siri’s iPhone if you want,” he says.

I scrunch up my forehead, feeling the scar crunch. “Do I look like the kind of person who can type on an iPhone?”

Zarar blinks. “… Yes.”

I stand up to full height on the ledge. “Hark! I require ink and quill, you fool! Is there a Staples around here somewhere?”

Zarar leans back on his arms to hold eye contact. “There’s a Duane Reade down the block.”

I hop off the ledge, landing lightly on the sandy dirt walkway. “Take me there, kind sir!”

Zarar joins me in a jaunt toward the sidewalk. I shake out my limbs. Leftover I’m doing my set adrenaline-spiked nerves are hurtling through me and coalescing into an airy triumphant joy. I can’t wait to jot down these notes and put them into effect!

I’m excited to try Dawn again on the train home and hope to god she picks up so I can get her opinion too! I still have a couple of hours to edit what I’m going to perform!

As soon as we hit the sidewalk, we’re in view of a Duane Reade.

I bound into a cheerful skip. “Hurry, Zarar!” I call behind me. “I have to catch the four p.m. train home to prank call my mom and cook a terrible dinner!”

He jogs to catch up to me. “That’s three hours away. I think we’ll manage.” He spoke out of the left side of his mouth again. Why is that so sexy?!

58. Angst and Expectations

JAMIE

September 5, Saturday Morning

California

I dress in the Jamie-est of outfits today. Bright yellow off-the-shoulder crop top under bright orange overalls I found in her closet. Yellow eyeshadow accents. Yellow boots, and a little darker than neutral shade of pink lipstick. She’s counting on me, and Dad’s counting on me. He’s the one who put Jamie up for this. I can’t embarrass either of them.

I’ve spent the morning running through the lessons Dawn gave me last night in my head. I keep hearing the last thing she said before I left: Try to start at least one of the scenes tomorrow, okay? You can do it. That’s all you’ll have to do, start at least one scene. We’ll be there with you every moment making it work.

Dawn’s counting on me too. Say yes. Make dramatic choices. Never give up on a scene.