She steps closer and puts her forehead against mine. “Good thing it was a two-for-one snow globe deal at Walmart then.”

“Is it a bad idea to kiss you again?” I ask.

“I think that train has left the station.”

Dawn and I make out for five glorious minutes on her bed before I leave with my new most prized possession.

101. A Girl Has One More Letter

JAMIE

September 19, Saturday

California

Now that we’ve done this once before with Mom and things ended so somberly, we’re taking a different approach. We’re going to start with our letters in the morning and get them over with, before we spend the day with Dad.

Siri and I meet him in the living room at 10 a.m. Siri’s plan is to make breakfast for the three of us as a sort of pick-me-up when we’re done.

Dad sits on the couch, and we stand in front of him like we’re about to give a movie pitch.

Siri clears her throat. “Dad.” Her voice cracks on the first word. I reach over, take her hand, and squeeze it. She doesn’t pull away; she holds on.

“Dad,” Siri starts again.

She opens with a list of daydreams she’s had about Grier coming to reunite with her throughout the years. It’s gut-punch sad. By the end of it, I can’t even look up at Dad.

“… your leaving has sculpted me as a person. I’m overly emotional. I have self-esteem issues. I’m angry. I don’t want those things to define me anymore. I don’t want what you’ve done to be the dominant thing rumbling around inside me through everything I do for the rest of my life. So, I’m here to wave a white flag. I’m here … because I want to forgive you.” She closes her eyes. “I do forgive you for leaving. I will never forget. But I will let you try to be a part of my life if you would like to be.”

Siri lowers her paper. I raise my letter and jump right in before I lose my nerve.

“Hey, Dad, it took a week wearing a glitter-dust mirage and extensive conversations with a hurt and broken Siri to realize you’ve been gaslighting me my entire life.”

I dig into the sad epiphanies I had at Rediscover. How his love feels conditional on my decisions aligning with his wishes.