I sniffle and nod. “Okay,” I say. “So it was September tenth, 1999, at ten fifteen a.m., when my mom triumphed in ejecting me from her vagina after fifteen hours of labor.”

Dawn groans on the other end of the call and I’m still kinda crying, but I feel a thousand million times better than I did ten minutes ago.

PART 3

Better Together

75. Angst and Road Trips

SIRI

September 8, Tuesday Morning

California

It’s Vegas Day. I open my eyes before Jamie’s Men in Black alarm clock blares and flip it off. It’s so jarring, my brain has resorted to clocking time on its own.

I clamber off the ground to where Gladys is plugged in.

Jamie: I’m at the airport. We’re supposedly changing back to ourselves when we see each other so I’m thinking we do some matching fun statement makeup to mask our facial differences so we can freak the ’rents out harder once we’re back to normal. You have my makeup so I’ll leave that bit up to you.

“Wow … eccentric makeup choice,” Dad greets as I come down wearing Jamie’s backpack.

I’ve painted an orange glitter star over my right eye. I’m wearing a baggy sweatshirt over the overalls I threw on. Jamie has our matching outfits, so I have no obligations there.

“I’m trying out a new look for my set,” I tell him as we walk out to his car.

I googled a new bunch of physical therapy exercises for my back and did them on the floor before I came downstairs because this four-hour car ride is going to be rough.

As we pull away from Beverly Hills, Dad presses play on an episode of Ice and Firecast, a Game of Thrones podcast I’ve heard my mother mention over the years. I sigh, settling in.

“You ready for some good old Thrones discussion?” he says enthusiastically. I nod.

The episode is an hour and a half long. It feels like two eternities. Dad laughs and talks along with the panel. Sometimes he interjects and tries to correct them.

“They can’t hear you,” I say at one point. He pretends like he can’t hear me. Throughout the discussion, I’m rehearsing the questions I need to ask him, over and over in my head.

Right now, in this moment, I believe I can do this.

No matter what his response is, I’m going to be okay. Dawn was right. Being in touch with your emotions is not a weakness, it pushes you to confront your demons, and I’m ready to confront one of mine.