Chapters (116)
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Dedication
- PART 1
- 1. Angst
- 2. Angst and the Journey
- 3. A Girl Is Mildly Traumatized
- 4. A Girl Is Off to Colorado, Apparently
- 5. Angst and Socializing
- 6. A Girl Is Here for the Introspection
- 7. Angst and the Shower Girl
- 8.???
- 9. Angst and Fishing
- 10. A Girl Is Sampling Sisterhood
- 11. Angst and Swimming
- 12. Is a Girl Alive?
- 13. Angst and All-Consuming Confusion
- 14. A Girl Is Clammy
- 15. Angst and Older Sisters
- 16. A Girl Has Been Caught Off Guard
- 17. Angst and Flashbacks
- 18. A Girl Is Trying to Reconnect
- 19. Angst and Reprocessing
- 20. A Girl Is a Little Disoriented
- 21. Angst and Hypothetical Miracles
- 22. A Girl Is Not Doing That
- 23. Angst and Fire Choir
- 24. A Girl Is Rapt with Attention
- 25. Angst and Metal
- PART 2
- 26. A Girl Is Playing the Long Game
- 27. Angst and Hikes
- 28. A Girl Thinks This Pitch Is Going Well
- 29. Angst and Saying Yes
- 30. A Girl Is on Her Ass
- 31. Angst and Cellular Device Access
- 32. Angst and Goodbyes
- 33. A Girl Is on a Plane
- 34. Angst and the Middle Seat
- 35. A Girl Doesn’t Understand Your Compliment
- 36. Angst and LAX
- 37. A Girl Is Going to Implode if Siri Keeps Ignoring Her Calls
- 38. A Girl Has Never Been to Her Mom’s House
- 39. Angst and Salons
- 40. A Girl Appreciates a Donut
- 41. Angst and Jamie’s Room
- 42. Angst and Dad
- 43. A Girl Can Rock a Catfish
- 44. Angst and Rom-Coms
- 45. A Girl Needs Adventure
- 46. Angst and Improv Practice
- 47. A Girl Fancies Zarar
- 48. Angst and Empathy
- 49. A Girl Is Questioning Everything
- 50. Angst and Pizza Hangs
- 51. A Girl Is Taking All the Calls
- 52. Angst and Good/Bad News
- 53. Angst and Preparation
- 54. A Girl Needs to Do Better
- 55. A Girl Is on Time for Once
- 56. Angst and Emails
- 57. A Girl Gets Feedback
- 58. Angst and Expectations
- 59. A Girl Is on the Train Again
- 60. Angst and a Barbecue
- 61. A Girl Does Family Dinner
- 62. A Girl Is Braving Another Open Mic
- 63. Angst and Ice Cream
- 64. A Girl Needs a Break
- 65. Angst and Vulnerability
- 66. A Girl Is at a Rooftop Soiree
- 67. Angst and Ideas
- 68. A Girl Is Conflicted
- 69. Angst and Storytime
- 70. A Girl Is Inferior
- 71. Angst and Preparations
- 72. A Girl Meets a Family
- 73. A Girl Has Lost Control
- 74. A Girl Is a Hot Mess
- PART 3
- 75. Angst and Road Trips
- 76. A Girl Is Running on Fumes
- 77. Angst and Recall
- 78. A Girl Is Having Trouble with This
- 79. Angst and Resolve
- 80. Angst and Confrontation
- 81. A Girl Is Hanging with Her Family!
- 82. A Girl’s Head Is Spinning
- 83. A Girl Ruined Everything
- 84. Angst and Intervention
- 85. A Girl Is Not Sure How to Proceed
- 86. Angst and Support
- 87. A Girl Has Some Work to Do
- 88. Angst and Progress
- 89. A Girl Isn’t Tired
- 90. Angst and Birthdays
- 91. A Girl Is Voluntarily Here
- 92. A Girl Wants to Make It Better
- 93. Angst and Letting Go
- 94. A Girl Works a Meeting
- 95. Angst and Wine
- 96. A Girl Is Enjoying Herself
- 97. Angst and Bridges
- 98. A Girl Is Going for It
- 99. Angst and Los Angeles
- 100. Angst and Hope
- 101. A Girl Has One More Letter
- 102. A Girl Is Trying Again
- 103. Angst and Pride
- 104. A Girl Is Freaking Flying
- Epilogue
- JAMIE
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Christine Riccio
- About the Author
- Newsletter Sign-up
His two fingers gently squeeze my forehead skin together as he does something with a tube of something in his other hand. “Siri swam past me as I was rowing out to get to your canoe. She didn’t respond when I called out to her, but she was wearing a life jacket and she didn’t look hurt, just rattled.
“She left you here unconscious. It’s unacceptable. I’ll have to have a word with her. I have to eventually have a word with you too. You’ve both violated so many safety rules, and I’ll have to suspend your canoe privileges for at least forty-eight hours.” His hands retreat from my vicinity for a moment. They return with a jumbo bandage.
Really not looking forward to the big mirror reveal back on land.
Zarar delicately removes the packaging and places the thing on my face.
I reach up and touch it before catching his eye. “How hot do I look now on a scale of one to ten?”
Zarar clears his throat. “How do you feel, Jamie?”
“Like I want to get the hell out of these freezing clothes.”
Zarar picks up a walkie and brings it to his mouth without breaking eye contact with me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those up close. “Terry, we have a code seven, call the doctor, please.”
The device crackles and then Terry’s Long Island voice comes through. “Roger that, heading to the phone as we speak.”
He lowers the device, and ever so quietly says, “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Roger that, over and out,” I mumble back as he settles himself onto a boat plank and begins to row.
Terry meets us at the shore. “Oh my gawd, what happened? You look like a murder victim, are you okay?!”
I blink from the bottom of the boat. “Always nice to hear.” From my vantage point I can see Terry, Zarar, and the sky.
Terry waves her hands around. “Don’t answer that. Z will fill me in. He’s going to take you to my cabin and we’ll get you sorted. I’m going to go find Siri. We’ll meet at my place.” She exits view.
Siri’s not here? Zarar extends his arms and bends toward me.
“What are you—” I start. He squats down and scoops me up like I weigh ten pounds. “Gah!”
Pain rockets through my cranium with the movement. I reach up, pressing my palms into the sides of my head. My clothes pull downward on my legs. They’re heavy and full of the lake.
Slowly, Zarar starts walking us up the path through the forest to Terry’s cabin.
I let my head loll back and watch the trees go by.