Zarar knows I left my mother and sister and haven’t spoken to them in over a decade. I want to slump over a table and drop my head into a plate of food. My privacy filter is on the fritz. Who knows what I might say in here.

I glance up at Terry’s clock over the fireplace. We only have twenty-five minutes left. I can stay quiet for another twenty-five minutes.

Donya gathers her hands together. “I think the first thing we should work on is helping you and Jamie gain a better understanding of each other. You share common ground. Let’s try to find it.”

“How?” Siri asks eagerly.

“Pull out your notebooks,” Donya instructs. “We’re going to do a writing exercise.”

Aces, Donya, what a beautiful idea.

“I want you both to close your eyes. Imagine a miracle is bestowed upon you overnight, to make everything in your life wonderful.”

My head falls sideways. Interesting writing prompt.

“Let the different aspects of the miracle reveal themselves to you. They’ll come up from the darkness. Explore the differences between this new day you’re imagining, and now.”

She lets us sit in silence for a stretch of thirty seconds. “Okay, open your eyes. Write down your miracle, detailing all the things you found that were different.”

I click my pen, eager to get this shit out of my brain before it spews out of my mouth.

21. Angst and Hypothetical Miracles

SIRI

August 30, Sunday Afternoon

Colorado

“Just about done?” Donya says after twenty minutes.

I close my notebook and look up. “Yes.” I’ve been done for about five minutes. Jamie’s got her tongue tucked between her teeth like she’s deep in concentration, writing a novel.

“Done. Damn, Don, that was fun.” Jamie smiles and closes her journal. She glances up at the old-fashioned clock over the fireplace. “Thanks for a great session. I can feel the tension release in my bones.”

Donya laughs. “We’re almost there, but not quite yet. We’re going to finish this exercise.”

Jamie’s smile falters. It’s oddly satisfying to see her look uncomfortable.

“Open back to your miracle pieces, please.” I open my notebook obediently. “We’re going to read them aloud,” she explains.

I should have seen that coming.

“Siri, would you like to go first?” She smiles at me kindly.

I nod. Either I can feel ill about this for the ten minutes leading up to my turn, or I can get it over with now and relax while Jamie’s going. I’ve done enough of these random therapy exercises over the years to know as dumb as they feel, they kind of help.

22. A Girl Is Not Doing That

JAMIE

August 30, Sunday Afternoon

Colorado

Read them aloud?

Siri just accepted Donya’s invitation to go first. What the hell? There was no disclaimer beforehand.