“All I ever wanted growing up was for you to be real. All I remembered was how much better things were when you were around. I had the coolest friend-slash-sister in the world, who always made me laugh. Finding out that you were real and realizing you aren’t the perfect person I’ve always imagined, it was hard to get over the initial shock of that.

“It took the other day in the hotel room for me to really see that you’re just as broken as I am. Don’t interrupt me because I know you’re already dying to deny it.” Siri doesn’t look at me, just holds strong to staring at the paper, but I smile.

“But you can’t deny it to me. We’re part of each other, and I can see through your cracks, James George Federov.

“I lied the other day with whatever mean thing I said after you pushed me. All I ever wanted was to be was like you. I’m eighteen now and it’s still true. I love how confident you are about any and every stupid thing you spout to anyone around you. How you can approach anyone at any given moment and say what’s on your mind. I watched you do it all the time at Rediscover. I don’t think you realize how hard that is for some of us. How it holds a lot of us back from … everything.” Her face turns red. “It’s really admirable. And everyone always wants to talk to you. They’re drawn to you. You have that thing. I don’t want to be you, Jamie. I don’t want to steal your identity. I want to learn to be more like you. If you’ll let me, I’d like to be the Anna to your Elsa.”

She clears her throat. “I think we went about this Parental Confrontation thing all wrong. I know you had kind of good intentions? Like barely good intentions.” Siri grins. “I know, in the deepest secret part of you, what you really needed and wanted was to confront Mom and Dad about what they’ve put us through. We can’t understand our broken parts without understanding how they came to be. But I think we’re both so broken, you know, we could never have been expected to do that alone.

“We gave your way a go. So, I think it’s only fair we try mine now. I’m here to propose a new plan where we stick together. Because I need you with me to do this confrontation thing right. And I think you need me too. We are stronger, smarter, better together.” She stops talking and shakily takes the paper away from her face.

I press my lips together. They’re wobbling and it’s humiliating. “Damn you for being fucking sweet and evolved.”

88. Angst and Progress

SIRI

September 9, Wednesday Evening

New Jersey