Jamie interrupts me. “Prince Harry? Hm, weird, we look nothing alike, but he’s cute. I’ll take it.” She puts on an accent. “Is this betta? Do thy think I’d be a better sister if I had an accent? I thought we agreed my name was Bucket.”

“I have to call you back,” I say abruptly.

“Hold up, we haven’t exchanged emergencies!” she says.

“I’m in the car with Grams. Keep the phone on. I’ll call you back.” I slide the phone closed and drop it back into my pocket.

“Jame,” Dawn says from the back seat. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” I look over at Grams. We’re at a light and she’s side-eyeing me. “I’m fine,” I say.

Grams raises her brows. “Good, because your appointment is in twenty minutes and we’re booking it to the salon.”

My jaw falls open. “What? I can’t right now.”

“Dawn has volunteered to keep you company.”

“Grams, I just got back.”

“Jamie, you signed that contract. We put it off for a week; it’s time to follow through,” she says firmly.

What contract?!

BZZZZZIT. The phone buzzes with a text over my chest.

BZZZZZIT. I put my hand over it.

BZZZZZIT.

“Lady Federov, you got some spilling to do about whoever the hell is on the other side of that text.” Dawn smirks at me in the rearview mirror.

37. A Girl Is Going to Implode if Siri Keeps Ignoring Her Calls

JAMIE

September 3, Thursday Evening

New Jersey

Siri hung up on me. I should have seen that coming. That girl will run away from an in-person conversation. She cannot be trusted with an end button.

My brain is cranking out glitter-based-magic-body-switching theories like no tomorrow, and I have no one to share them with. We definitely haven’t switched bodies … I’m wearing, like … a Siri illusion which is so effing weird and way more confusing than your average Freaky Friday situation.

I’ve just returned from the bathroom where I thoroughly inspected myself. I scratched my skin and banged the mirror and slapped my legs, and little bouts of glitter floofed out of me and into the air every time.

I officially have a ghost braid that people can see, that doesn’t actually exist.

Call me crazy, but I think we’ve been happy haunted. Maybe Terry’s a wizard. Or the campground is a wizard. Or the Luck trail is a wizard. Something’s a wizard, and it’s dusted me with Siri’s appearance.

This a whole new level of trip that I don’t really know what to do with. What if it never comes off?