I found myself opening up to him. Not about my infertility or about Adam – that would have seemed disloyal – but the about the pressure I felt to look out for Mum since Dad died. To live up to Dad’s legacy as a head teacher. The worry that my nan was becoming more and more forgetful. He listened. The way Adam used to. The way he did in Alircia on the beach.

Ross wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb.

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘This was supposed to be fun.’

‘I know! Fuck me, it’s the last time I ask you out. It’s old Maude the dinner lady next time. She looks like a riot.’

I laughed and that was something that didn’t happen frequently.

‘I’d better go.’ I stood and looped my handbag over my shoulder.

‘Stay for another?’ He waved the bottle. It was dangerous. I should go home. ‘I can’t drink it, I’m driving. It would go to waste otherwise.’

‘Okay.’ While Ross went to the loo, I rattled off a text to Adam, telling him there was a staff meeting after work. I had almost convinced myself it was true until Ross sat down again, not in the chair opposite me this time, but next to me. His thigh pressing against mine.

‘This is nice,’ he said. ‘Sometimes I love living alone but sometimes I go back to an empty house and it feels so lonely.’

‘Have you dated? Since your divorce?’

‘No. I was holding out until I met the right person – it’s soul-destroying being with the wrong person.’

‘Was holding out?’

‘We can find happiness in the most unexpected of places, Anna. It’s a question of being brave enough to let it in.’

I downed my wine. The warm bloom of alcohol loosened my tongue. ‘I want to be happy but I’m not brave enough.’

‘I think you’re stronger than you think.’ Ross placed his hand my knee.

Was I?

It would take courage to leave. Courage to stay.

Thinking of Adam, I stood. I was lost, lonely, desperately unhappy, but lying to my husband was a new low.

‘I should go.’ I meant it this time.

‘Can I drop you home?’ he asked.

‘Please.’ I directed him, not to my house but to the neighbouring street, asking myself why, if it were nothing more than a friendly drink, I didn’t let Ross drop me home. But I knew why.

As I unclipped my seatbelt, he leaned across and cupped my face in his hands.

‘Anna.’

He kissed me.

And I let him.

Adam was sprawled on the sofa, ‘How was it?’

‘What?’

‘The staff meeting?’

‘Oh, that.’ I was caught in my web of deceit. Unsure what to say but he had turned his attention back to the TV. I curled up on the armchair, watching my phone screen illuminate as Ross texted me over and over.

I’m sorry.