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Chapters (100)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Note to Readers
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. Part One
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Part Two
  21. Chapter Fourteen
  22. Chapter Fifteen
  23. Chapter Sixteen
  24. Chapter Seventeen
  25. Chapter Eighteen
  26. Chapter Nineteen
  27. Chapter Twenty
  28. Chapter Twenty-One
  29. Chapter Twenty-Two
  30. Chapter Twenty-Three
  31. Chapter Twenty-Four
  32. Chapter Twenty-Five
  33. Chapter Twenty-Six
  34. Part Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  36. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  37. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  38. Chapter Thirty
  39. Chapter Thirty-One
  40. Chapter Thirty-Two
  41. Chapter Thirty-Three
  42. Chapter Thirty-Four
  43. Chapter Thirty-Five
  44. Chapter Thirty-Six
  45. Part Four
  46. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  47. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  48. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  49. Chapter Forty
  50. Chapter Forty-One
  51. Chapter Forty-Two
  52. Chapter Forty-Three
  53. Chapter Forty-Four
  54. Chapter Forty-Five
  55. Chapter Forty-Six
  56. Chapter Forty-Seven
  57. Chapter Forty-Eight
  58. Chapter Forty-Nine
  59. Chapter Fifty
  60. Chapter Fifty-One
  61. Chapter Fifty-Two
  62. Chapter Fifty-Three
  63. Chapter Fifty-Four
  64. Chapter Fifty-Five
  65. Chapter Fifty-Six
  66. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  67. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  68. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  69. Chapter Sixty
  70. Chapter Sixty-One
  71. Chapter Sixty-Two
  72. Chapter Sixty-Three
  73. Chapter Sixty-Four
  74. Chapter Sixty-Five
  75. Chapter Sixty-Six
  76. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  77. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  78. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  79. Chapter Seventy
  80. Chapter Seventy-One
  81. Chapter Seventy-Two
  82. Chapter Seventy-Three
  83. Chapter Seventy-Four
  84. Chapter Seventy-Five
  85. Chapter Seventy-Six
  86. Part Five
  87. Chapter Seventy-Seven
  88. Chapter Seventy-Eight
  89. Chapter Seventy-Nine
  90. Chapter Eighty
  91. Part Six
  92. Chapter Eighty-One
  93. Chapter Eighty-Two
  94. Chapter Eighty-Three
  95. Author’s Note
  96. Book Club Questions for The Life We Almost Had
  97. Acknowledgements
  98. Extract
  99. Chapter One
  100. About the Publisher

‘I’m amazed Adam asked me to be his best man. Those of you who know me will know that I can be a bit of a dick. I’m not good with words.’ He refilled his glass and took a sip. And when he spoke again it was louder. ‘The thing is, I’ve known Adam almost all of my life. I’ve listened to him bang on about all the places he wanted to go to, all the countries he wanted to visit. He used to have a cork board in his bedroom with cuttings from holiday brochures. I admit when he first told me he was giving it all up for Anna, I thought he was a bit of a—’ I cleared my throat loudly. I had warned Josh to keep it clean because of Anna’s nan. ‘A bit of an idiot.’ Josh swayed and for one horrifying second it looked like he was going to topple over but he caught his balance. I waited for the punchline with bated breath. ‘But he wasn’t… an idiot. The truth is I’ve never seen Adam look at a map the way he looks at Anna.’ A ripple of laughter Mexican-waved around the room. ‘It might seem that we don’t have much in common anymore. With him settling down and me still shagging everything that moves. Sorry… I mean… making love to. Is that better? Shit. Sorry, Anna’s Nan.’

‘It’s okay!’ Anna’s nan’s voice had warbled towards the top table. ‘I have heard of sex, you know. Done it myself once or twice.’

Josh had raised his glass while a mortified Anna covered her face with her hands. ‘But I’m still… exploring my options because I haven’t met anyone who makes me feel the way Adam feels about Anna and after seeing the two of them together, I don’t want to settle for anything less than what they have.’ He turned to me. Almost-empty glass raised. ‘Adam, I love you mate. And even if we’re heading in different directions, I’ll always have your back.’

‘And I’ll have yours.’ I stood quickly to give him a hug. His eyes were glistening too.

‘To Adam and Anna. May you have a long and happy life.’ He had raised his glass. And I recall thinking then how happy I was. I recall thinking then that I had it all.

‘Do you remember,’ Anna says now, ‘that Nell was so moved by his speech they had a snog.’

I remember, I want to tell her. But I can’t. The words are in my head but I can’t speak. I can’t move. I can’t take my wife into my arms and tell her that I thought it was impossible to love her any more than I did on our wedding day and yet, somehow, I do.

I can’t say any of it.

Chapter Sixty-Six

Anna