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Chapters (100)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Note to Readers
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. Part One
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Part Two
  21. Chapter Fourteen
  22. Chapter Fifteen
  23. Chapter Sixteen
  24. Chapter Seventeen
  25. Chapter Eighteen
  26. Chapter Nineteen
  27. Chapter Twenty
  28. Chapter Twenty-One
  29. Chapter Twenty-Two
  30. Chapter Twenty-Three
  31. Chapter Twenty-Four
  32. Chapter Twenty-Five
  33. Chapter Twenty-Six
  34. Part Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  36. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  37. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  38. Chapter Thirty
  39. Chapter Thirty-One
  40. Chapter Thirty-Two
  41. Chapter Thirty-Three
  42. Chapter Thirty-Four
  43. Chapter Thirty-Five
  44. Chapter Thirty-Six
  45. Part Four
  46. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  47. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  48. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  49. Chapter Forty
  50. Chapter Forty-One
  51. Chapter Forty-Two
  52. Chapter Forty-Three
  53. Chapter Forty-Four
  54. Chapter Forty-Five
  55. Chapter Forty-Six
  56. Chapter Forty-Seven
  57. Chapter Forty-Eight
  58. Chapter Forty-Nine
  59. Chapter Fifty
  60. Chapter Fifty-One
  61. Chapter Fifty-Two
  62. Chapter Fifty-Three
  63. Chapter Fifty-Four
  64. Chapter Fifty-Five
  65. Chapter Fifty-Six
  66. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  67. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  68. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  69. Chapter Sixty
  70. Chapter Sixty-One
  71. Chapter Sixty-Two
  72. Chapter Sixty-Three
  73. Chapter Sixty-Four
  74. Chapter Sixty-Five
  75. Chapter Sixty-Six
  76. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  77. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  78. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  79. Chapter Seventy
  80. Chapter Seventy-One
  81. Chapter Seventy-Two
  82. Chapter Seventy-Three
  83. Chapter Seventy-Four
  84. Chapter Seventy-Five
  85. Chapter Seventy-Six
  86. Part Five
  87. Chapter Seventy-Seven
  88. Chapter Seventy-Eight
  89. Chapter Seventy-Nine
  90. Chapter Eighty
  91. Part Six
  92. Chapter Eighty-One
  93. Chapter Eighty-Two
  94. Chapter Eighty-Three
  95. Author’s Note
  96. Book Club Questions for The Life We Almost Had
  97. Acknowledgements
  98. Extract
  99. Chapter One
  100. About the Publisher

Anna linked her arm through mine. We automatically headed towards the cove. We didn’t speak. It was the last time we would tread this route together and I wanted to savour every moment.

At the end of the walkway, Anna’s eyes flickered to the padlocks, the way they had every evening since our first.

‘I have something for you. For us.’ From my pocket I pulled out a lock and a marker pen.

‘A love lock!’ She looked at me uncertainly.

‘A friendship lock.’ Her face fell and I mentally kicked myself. ‘Anna, I…’

Don’t fall in love, you big twat. Josh had said. He was right. It was the wrong time for me. For her. Impractical.

Shit.

‘It’s a lovely thought, Adam.’ She took the lock from my hand. ‘To symbolize our… friendship. What should I put?’

‘How about just “Adam & Anna”?’ Our names fit together like pieces of a puzzle.

Anna took her time, writing in cursive script, before clipping the lock onto the chain.

‘Adam…’ Her eyes met mine. They glistened with tears.

I felt helpless. Useless.

‘Anna, I…’ I stroked her cheek with the back of my fingers. She gave a tiny shake of her head before forcing a smile.

‘Last one onto the beach buys breakfast tomorrow at the airport.’ She sprinted away from me, leaving me fumbling with the wine and glasses before I could follow.

‘Hey, that’s not fair!’

Ahead of me, she laughed. The stretch of her arms, the vibrancy of her dress, reminded me of the bird I had unchained. For a nanosecond I contemplated leaving her there and then. Preserving this as my last memory of her. Happy and free.

Instead, I chased her. Making a production of swiping my hands towards her but each time letting her slip through my fingers.

Eventually, we flopped onto the damp sand. I unscrewed the bottle of wine and we raised a silent toast.

Unlike previous evenings we were quiet. It wasn’t the time for talking.

After we’d drained the bottle of wine, we flopped back on the sand. She rolled onto her side to face me. My thumb stroked hers and somehow that was enough. We didn’t make love. Not that time. We’d tried that on the beach and decided we were better off in the apartment. It really wasn’t as romantic as it looked in the movies. Sand gets everywhere, and I mean everywhere. It was an experience neither of us were in any rush to repeat. We must have dozed because when we woke, the sky was turning from black to grey to pink. My eyes held hers, imparting all of the things I wanted her to know. All the things I couldn’t say.

The static of hope crackled in the air, invisible to the naked eye but palpable nevertheless. I brushed it aside.

It was time to say goodbye.

Chapter Seven

Anna