The turquoise maxi dress I had bought from the tiny boutique in the hotel reception fitted me perfectly, worth the last of my euros. It was our last night and I could hardly bear it. During the past ten days Adam had built up my confidence brick by brick and I was afraid my newly found self-esteem would crumble to dust once he’d gone. We hadn’t discussed whether we’d keep in touch. I didn’t want to. Soon, he would be travelling the world, meeting new people and if his texts tapered off, it would hurt all over again to think he had forgotten me. I’d rather say a clean goodbye and be left with the illusion that he was thinking of me.

Always thinking of me.

The way I knew I would think of him.

I painted on a pink gloss smile, determined not to ruin our last few precious hours together with melancholy and regret.

I didn’t regret anything.

It was best for both of us to go our separate ways. Imagine if I asked Adam to stay and he said yes and he resented me for it one day – and that’s if he said yes.

If.

Such a small word but it contained so many possibilities. My mind couldn’t help time-travelling to a future where Adam and I were married, two children, a rose-covered cottage, but it was nothing but a daydream. Even if we wanted to see each other again, how would it work? We lived four hours apart and in truth, we might not feel the same about each other once back in the real world. I gazed out of the window at the speck of glittering sea visible between apartments. This was not the real world. This was not my real life.

For the first time in days I opened Facebook. At the top of my news feed was an update from my ex – Living the Dream – and a photo of him and Sonia raising glasses of fizzing champagne as they shared a meal. His plate was laden with meat and roast potatoes. On hers, a salad. I felt… I enlarged the photo to see if I was mistaken, but I wasn’t. I felt nothing but relief that I was no longer trying to be someone I wasn’t. Without hesitating I clicked Unfriend because I knew with certainty that we were never friends, not like me and Adam. That was how a relationship should be: honest and fun. In the future I wouldn’t settle for anything less.

‘What are you doing?’ Nell burst from the bathroom. A tiny white towel wrapped around her middle, arms and legs golden.

‘Moving on,’ I grinned, turning off my phone.

‘Glad to hear it. You’re okay then, with this being the last night?’