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Chapters (100)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Note to Readers
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. Part One
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Part Two
  21. Chapter Fourteen
  22. Chapter Fifteen
  23. Chapter Sixteen
  24. Chapter Seventeen
  25. Chapter Eighteen
  26. Chapter Nineteen
  27. Chapter Twenty
  28. Chapter Twenty-One
  29. Chapter Twenty-Two
  30. Chapter Twenty-Three
  31. Chapter Twenty-Four
  32. Chapter Twenty-Five
  33. Chapter Twenty-Six
  34. Part Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  36. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  37. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  38. Chapter Thirty
  39. Chapter Thirty-One
  40. Chapter Thirty-Two
  41. Chapter Thirty-Three
  42. Chapter Thirty-Four
  43. Chapter Thirty-Five
  44. Chapter Thirty-Six
  45. Part Four
  46. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  47. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  48. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  49. Chapter Forty
  50. Chapter Forty-One
  51. Chapter Forty-Two
  52. Chapter Forty-Three
  53. Chapter Forty-Four
  54. Chapter Forty-Five
  55. Chapter Forty-Six
  56. Chapter Forty-Seven
  57. Chapter Forty-Eight
  58. Chapter Forty-Nine
  59. Chapter Fifty
  60. Chapter Fifty-One
  61. Chapter Fifty-Two
  62. Chapter Fifty-Three
  63. Chapter Fifty-Four
  64. Chapter Fifty-Five
  65. Chapter Fifty-Six
  66. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  67. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  68. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  69. Chapter Sixty
  70. Chapter Sixty-One
  71. Chapter Sixty-Two
  72. Chapter Sixty-Three
  73. Chapter Sixty-Four
  74. Chapter Sixty-Five
  75. Chapter Sixty-Six
  76. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  77. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  78. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  79. Chapter Seventy
  80. Chapter Seventy-One
  81. Chapter Seventy-Two
  82. Chapter Seventy-Three
  83. Chapter Seventy-Four
  84. Chapter Seventy-Five
  85. Chapter Seventy-Six
  86. Part Five
  87. Chapter Seventy-Seven
  88. Chapter Seventy-Eight
  89. Chapter Seventy-Nine
  90. Chapter Eighty
  91. Part Six
  92. Chapter Eighty-One
  93. Chapter Eighty-Two
  94. Chapter Eighty-Three
  95. Author’s Note
  96. Book Club Questions for The Life We Almost Had
  97. Acknowledgements
  98. Extract
  99. Chapter One
  100. About the Publisher

As we walked, Oliver told us about recent breakthroughs his team had made. Before now I had only thought of Oliver in conjunction with what he could do for Adam, but listening I realized that the research they were doing here could change many lives.

Change the world.

‘It’s hard to imagine the day progressive neurological diseases are eradicated.’ Nell was fully engaged. ‘Dementia and Parkinson’s seem so commonplace now. We’ve almost accepted them as a normal part of ageing.’

‘I’m confident we’ll see big changes.’ Oliver opened a door. ‘Perhaps not all in my lifetime but it’s revolutionary, the progress that’s being made. Not just by us but worldwide.’ He gestured. ‘This is where you and Adam would stay.’

I stepped inside the room. It resembled a hotel. Oil paintings of beach scenes on duck-egg walls. A coffee table and two comfortable armchairs beside open sash windows. From here, we could see the sea. Smell it. Hear it. Feel the breeze. There were four doors leading off from this one. Beyond the first one was a huge bed. Machines I recognized from the hospital.

‘This is where Adam would sleep.’

The next room was also a bedroom housing a double bed and a wardrobe. ‘This would be your room,’ Oliver told me. The other door led to a large bathroom with a freestanding shower and a bath. ‘It’s important that you’re comfortable, Anna. It’s a difficult time, the waiting.’

‘We read about Clem,’ I said. ‘I’m so sorry for your loss.’

‘It’s partly why… The work I’ve done with consciousness is… it was inspired by my uncle who had Parkinson’s dementia but now… it’s even more important than I realized because of… because of…’

He didn’t go on. ‘Your wife,’ I finished for him, understanding Oliver’s determination to see if something exists beyond the realms of what we already know.

‘Yes. Her passing has… Research had always been my passion but after she’d… gone I had so much time and enormous amounts of money if I’m honest. I wanted to set up my own institute. This is my… my pet project. It feels so personal. Until recently it felt so unachievable. But I’ve had a breakthrough.’

‘Tell us more about your study,’ I interrupted. I could tell Oliver was one for convoluted replies.

‘Of course.’ He led us through the final door. This room was colder, more clinical. I shuddered as I stared at the machine in the centre of it. I knew it was some sort of scanner, I’d seen them on Casualty, but never one this big. There was a flat surface for someone to lie on, which would then disappear into a large circular tube.

‘That looks like a Polo mint,’ Nell said.

She had a point – if a Polo mint was hundreds of times larger than usual and stood vertically.