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Chapters (100)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Note to Readers
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. Part One
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Part Two
  21. Chapter Fourteen
  22. Chapter Fifteen
  23. Chapter Sixteen
  24. Chapter Seventeen
  25. Chapter Eighteen
  26. Chapter Nineteen
  27. Chapter Twenty
  28. Chapter Twenty-One
  29. Chapter Twenty-Two
  30. Chapter Twenty-Three
  31. Chapter Twenty-Four
  32. Chapter Twenty-Five
  33. Chapter Twenty-Six
  34. Part Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  36. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  37. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  38. Chapter Thirty
  39. Chapter Thirty-One
  40. Chapter Thirty-Two
  41. Chapter Thirty-Three
  42. Chapter Thirty-Four
  43. Chapter Thirty-Five
  44. Chapter Thirty-Six
  45. Part Four
  46. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  47. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  48. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  49. Chapter Forty
  50. Chapter Forty-One
  51. Chapter Forty-Two
  52. Chapter Forty-Three
  53. Chapter Forty-Four
  54. Chapter Forty-Five
  55. Chapter Forty-Six
  56. Chapter Forty-Seven
  57. Chapter Forty-Eight
  58. Chapter Forty-Nine
  59. Chapter Fifty
  60. Chapter Fifty-One
  61. Chapter Fifty-Two
  62. Chapter Fifty-Three
  63. Chapter Fifty-Four
  64. Chapter Fifty-Five
  65. Chapter Fifty-Six
  66. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  67. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  68. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  69. Chapter Sixty
  70. Chapter Sixty-One
  71. Chapter Sixty-Two
  72. Chapter Sixty-Three
  73. Chapter Sixty-Four
  74. Chapter Sixty-Five
  75. Chapter Sixty-Six
  76. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  77. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  78. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  79. Chapter Seventy
  80. Chapter Seventy-One
  81. Chapter Seventy-Two
  82. Chapter Seventy-Three
  83. Chapter Seventy-Four
  84. Chapter Seventy-Five
  85. Chapter Seventy-Six
  86. Part Five
  87. Chapter Seventy-Seven
  88. Chapter Seventy-Eight
  89. Chapter Seventy-Nine
  90. Chapter Eighty
  91. Part Six
  92. Chapter Eighty-One
  93. Chapter Eighty-Two
  94. Chapter Eighty-Three
  95. Author’s Note
  96. Book Club Questions for The Life We Almost Had
  97. Acknowledgements
  98. Extract
  99. Chapter One
  100. About the Publisher

‘Sorry we’re late. We had a rough night at the hospital and overslept this morning,’ I said. ‘Adam… Adam had…’ I wasn’t strong enough to say it.

‘Adam had a cardiac arrest,’ Nell explained.

‘I’m so sorry. How is he now?’

‘Stable but Dr Acevedo says… he says…’ Again, I looked to Nell.

‘Dr Acevedo has given Adam a 3 per cent chance of recovering. Aside from his head injury, the water that he ingested when he nearly drowned has put a huge strain on his heart and after his cardiac arrest…’

There were three bottles of Evian on the table. I picked up one and took a sip.

‘He doesn’t seem to have any hope,’ I said once I had composed myself.

‘Doctors go from their past experiences. They can be very black and white.’

‘Do you think…’ I left my question hanging.

‘I honestly don’t know. Statistically, it doesn’t look promising for Adam; I wish I could tell you otherwise, but—’

‘We’ve been watching YouTube. There are so many cases of patients waking up.’ I was seeking reassurance that it did happen. That it would happen for Adam.

‘And there are an awful lot who don’t. The last thing I want to do is give you false hope. I can’t wake Adam from his coma, but we’ve finished our testing as best we can without a candidate and Adam fits our criteria perfectly. I’d love to tell you I could cure Adam but there isn’t anything at the moment that can do that. What I’d like to do is to explore his consciousness and see if there’s anything there. It would be ground-breaking if there is and we could develop accessible equipment that would benefit so many patients and their families. Most doctors would tell you Adam’s mind must be empty of thought but—’

‘Brain science research is proving that doctors aren’t always right.’ Nell jumps in. ‘Can we see where you carry out your research?’

‘Yes, of course. Anna?’

Stalling, I took another sip of water before I stood. My heart was pounding. I followed Oliver into the corridor, unsure what we would be faced with. Rows of cages and animals? Brains in jars?

‘I won’t bore you with the details today, but these are our labs.’ As we walked, Oliver gestured to glass-fronted rooms. I couldn’t help stopping and gazing inside. Everything looked so normal. A man perched on a stool at a bench tapping the keyboard on his laptop. There was an array of computer screens and it was nothing like I had imagined.

Breathing felt a little easier.

‘How long have you been here?’ Nell was asking all the questions.

‘The Institute has been running for seven years, but we’ve only been in this building three.’