But despite my contesting, my parents, whom I had never seen more united on any topic, told me I would never be returning to that school. If at the time I felt as if my life was completely ruined and that it was my punishment, then it was only because I had yet to discover what true misery felt like.

The first week after I left school for good, I missed Callum so much it became a permanent pain in my chest, rising into my throat and making it difficult to breathe. I couldn’t think of anything or anyone else. He filled my every thought in my waking moment and haunted every dream. I couldn’t be rid of him. I walked around the house feeling much like a spare part and endured the looks of disappointment from each of my parents if I would happen upon them on the stairway or coming out of the bathroom. If they were feeling particularly hard done by that day, they would ignore me altogether.

Of course, I had no idea what it was I needed or was craving from them; I was a mere child being treated like an incompetent adult.

To compensate for their lack of affection I ate more than I should have done and I became quickly podgy. I was never interested in sports. That came later. My puppy fat and their constant dismissal of me was how I managed to get away with it. I was barely touched by either of my parents prior to my disgracing them, but after Callum there was certainly no hint at them wanting to be near me, embrace me or comfort me, so they would never have felt the slow gentle swelling beneath my clothes. Only I interpreted the missed periods, the sickness, the tiredness and eventually my abdomen taking shape into a small perfect round neat bump, to be a pregnancy. A baby made by Callum and me.

Whilst there were odd uttered words to me about food that needed to be eaten or waiting in to receive a package for them, there was no real interaction. They could barely even look at me. So I began to take all my meals in my room and spend most of my time in there. They didn’t seem to mind. In fact they were relieved that I was out of their hair but not getting into any trouble. To them, the teenage body and brain was a minefield so the chaos and confusion that a young hormonal woman brought to the house was finally removed. They could almost go back to how things were before I accidently came along.

When the small matter of me going into labour occurred, I admitted myself into the local hospital, and revealed my stomach to a quiet and compliant nurse who ushered me into the labour ward.

I knew I would have to share this with my parents eventually but so far I had made little connection to the baby, instead pretending for all those months that it wasn’t happening. The midwife, Heidi, looked after me like I was her own child. She stayed by my side for those sixteen hours and when I pushed out the little girl, Heidi congratulated me as though I had won a gold medal at the Olympics.