I was living for the present and heading for the future. I had wonderful opportunities in front of me. I had been working at the prestigious gym in town for over a year. Although I was self-employed, I would get some maternity allowance once the baby was born, and with Ben getting paid handsomely for his work on the album with this new band that were tipped to be the next Coldplay, we would do okay.

Then I hoped Ben would take some time off to be with me and the baby. The thought of being alone with a little person who was entirely dependent on me sent ripples of anxiety around my body.

Since I had been with Ben, he had begun to make me see myself properly again and I began to realise my potential. Something I had stopped realising I had. That’s why Ben and I were perfect for one another. Just a few months together, but we clicked, we gelled. We were destined to be together. I had felt it in his touch the first night and he gave me a strength I didn’t realise I had and I knew I did the same for him.

I watched him from my bed. He moved slowly around the room, folding jeans neatly and placing them carefully in the wardrobe, arranging paperwork, notes he had written, lyrics he had jotted down. Everything he did, he did with dexterity and a certain degree of softness that I had never before witnessed in a man. Other men before Ben had their softer sides, but there was always that obvious masculine way about them that they needed to assert; the way they would move from room to room or place objects down, all with force. But not Ben. He was tall and virile but soft and gentle. It was not something I had sought in a partner but when I met him I was drawn to him in a way I had never been with anyone before so I knew it was meant to be.

‘Come back to bed.’ I must have whispered loud enough for him to hear, he turned around with that yielding glow surrounding him, ready for me to take him and mould him exactly how I wanted him. He would surrender into me as he usually did. That I was certain of.

Later that morning I had my bag packed ready for my classes and I sat at my laptop at the table in the lounge. Little waves of nausea pulsated around my body and I felt an overwhelming tiredness. But I needed to work. I began to check through a few emails as Ben hovered around. I had stopped asking him what the matter was whenever I saw a frown building. I had begun to leave him well alone when I could see he was somewhere far away in his mind.

Today was different though. That frown was nowhere to be seen and he looked very much in the present. He had brought mint tea and placed it in his usual careful manner slightly away from my laptop and elbow, out of harm’s way but just within reaching distance. My concentration was brought from my computer to Ben’s presence at my side.