It made me think of Ben and that I needed him with me. I wanted him with me. Then I thought of Eve and how she would have adored this baby as much as I did.

I settled myself on the bed and watched as his eyes closed and he fell into a sleep.

I could still feel my stomach contracting a little. There was quite a lot of pain but I wanted to ignore that. I would try and feed the baby in a while when he woke up, that would help. But like me he was exhausted from the birth. I closed my eyes and let out a long sigh. With the hormones rushing around my body I felt suddenly as though everything was real. I could feel the weight of his tiny body pressed into the crook on my arm and could feel the warmth of him. He was alive. He was okay. He was mine.

My eyes were open and Annie was in the room. My arms felt different, lighter. It took me a moment to realise, I looked down, the baby was gone. Annie was fussing around the bedside table.

‘The baby? Where is he?’

‘Now, Daisy, I told you, you weren’t in the right state of mind for this. I left the room for a moment to collect the muslin blankets and you fell into a deep sleep with Daniel in your arms.’

I sat up and threw my legs over the side of the bed.

‘Calm down, dear, Daniel is safe. He’s in his Moses basket down the hall. Sound asleep. You have nothing to worry about.’

‘But I need to be with him!’ The desire to be with him was more intense than I could have imagined. Losing my baby again was not something I could allow to happen. I wasn’t that teenage girl surrounded by people who never even asked my opinion but took it upon themselves to remove my baby from me. I could feel it happening all over again.

‘Sit down, dear. You’re too weak, you have just given birth. Daniel is perfectly safe in the other room.’

‘Why are you calling him Daniel? He doesn’t have a name. I haven’t given him a name yet.’ I could feel the panic rising in my chest and into my throat.

‘Well, that’s why I am referring to him as Daniel – it’s perfectly better than baby, isn’t it? Look, I’ve brought you some more tea… Daisy whatever are you doing?’ I pushed past Annie with great force as the need to be with my son became animalistic. I sped down the hallway and into the next room on the left. The room was dark and cool. The Moses basket was stood in the corner with a large chair pushed up close to it and a small table next to that. As I approached, I could see an object on the table. It was a baby bottle. It had been filled with milk and was now almost empty.