I pulled my mouth down. ‘Hmmm, I hadn’t really thought about it. I didn’t know if I was going to have a boy or a girl. How did you know he would be a boy?’

‘Just intuition. I could feel those boy vibes.’

I looked at Annie. ‘Did you get those boy vibes for Ben?’

‘Um, yes I suppose I did. I bet you’re desperate for a cup of tea. Toast? Shall I make toast as well?’ Annie stood up and slipped out the room.

I lay my head back on the chair took in a deep breath then looked down at the bundle in my arms. It was nothing short of a miracle to have something so small and helpless yet so alive in my arms. Here was my boy, ready to start his life. Could I possibly do it this time? Could I possibly be enough for him? Without Ben, I was all he had.

Annie returned with my tea and after I guzzled it down, she escorted me upstairs for a proper rest. I walked into the bedroom, carrying the baby, followed closely by Annie.

‘Do we have a bed for him. I mean, did you—’

‘Yes, yes, Daisy, I got all of that sorted. I thought we could use the front spare as his nursery. It’s small and cosy. We could put his little basket in there.’

‘But I thought…’ I turned round to face Annie. ‘I thought he would be in here, next to me.’

‘Daisy, you’ve just given birth. You have been severely depressed and I don’t know if you are better yet. I’m sorry. But I can’t expect you to be on your own with him. You will be exhausted. It’s just for a few days, whilst you get your strength back. Now look, you need to get some rest. He came at a good time. Just in time for an afternoon nap.’

‘Annie, I must insist that my son is in the same room as me, it’s not natural for us to be separated, and I have to be close to him. Surely you understand that?’ I surprised myself at my own confidence.

Annie looked at me for a few seconds. I wondered if she would fight me again, make me believe that she was right and that I wasn’t of a sane mind. I wasn’t sure I had the strength in me to stand up to her a second time so when she backed down it was a complete relief. It had taken everything I had in me to tell her no.

‘Yes of course, of course. Let me go and get you some muslin blankets, I left them downstairs.’ Annie hurried from the room, leaving me and my son alone. I looked down at him, wrapped up in a blue blanket, with just his little round face and a sprout of dark hair poking out. He was watching me so intently with his little beady dark eyes. I didn’t expect the wave of love that rushed up from my belly to my chest.