That morning, I got up and got dressed as usual, taking particular care over my hair, which had grown longer and unruly. Much like it was when I was a little girl and I would run wild around the vast garden in the family home.

I tied it back into a ponytail and then went the extra mile and pulled it around into a neat bun. I examined myself closely. I reminded myself of my old primary school teacher, not the aerobics instructor I had been months ago. The floral floaty dress which Annie had picked out for me last week, compensated for my hair that hadn’t been shaped or cut for months. I applied a subtle shade of red to my lips, one of the few things I had left that had belonged to Eve. She had dropped it in my handbag with a cheeky grin and a wink on that night. The last night.

I picked up the letter again. I needed to check that it was today because my mind was all over the place, I couldn’t seem to hold onto a single thought properly. I felt a sudden urge to be sick again. I ran from the bedroom, into the bathroom and allowed the retching to take over my body. There was nothing to come out because I hadn’t eaten anything that morning even though Annie had stood over me sternly urging me to eat some of the scrambled eggs she had prepared.

Annie insisted on driving me to the court and I could tell she was quietly smug that I had allowed her to. Patrick had texted me a few times, offering his services in the gallant manner in which only he knew best, but I didn’t wish to put him out. He was sad not to be nearer to me, that he couldn’t step in and offer his help as and when. I tried not to think about his last words to me about his intense feelings for Eve. I had known Patrick for so long, I couldn’t begin to doubt him as well.

Annie was obligingly quiet for the journey, allowing me to be alone with my thoughts. She parked outside the court and made quite a show of helping me out of the car in front of Patrick. She gave an awkward acknowledgement towards him and said she would meet me in the café around the corner in about an hour. I looked up at the bright blue March sky against the contrast of the dirty grey backstreet town building and thought about what was waiting for me on the inside.

Seeing Patrick was stranger than I had expected. He had really lost a lot more weight and when he embraced me I could feel the bones in his back through his thin jacket.

‘Darling, you look positively…’ Patrick struggled with the final word.

‘Shit.’ I coughed out a laugh.

‘No, just, well… you look tired. But you are glowing, blooming, and you are carrying a human inside you.’ He placed his arm around my shoulder and escorted me into the coroner’s court. A police officer greeted us in the doorway.