Chapters (116)
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Dedication
- PART 1
- 1. Angst
- 2. Angst and the Journey
- 3. A Girl Is Mildly Traumatized
- 4. A Girl Is Off to Colorado, Apparently
- 5. Angst and Socializing
- 6. A Girl Is Here for the Introspection
- 7. Angst and the Shower Girl
- 8.???
- 9. Angst and Fishing
- 10. A Girl Is Sampling Sisterhood
- 11. Angst and Swimming
- 12. Is a Girl Alive?
- 13. Angst and All-Consuming Confusion
- 14. A Girl Is Clammy
- 15. Angst and Older Sisters
- 16. A Girl Has Been Caught Off Guard
- 17. Angst and Flashbacks
- 18. A Girl Is Trying to Reconnect
- 19. Angst and Reprocessing
- 20. A Girl Is a Little Disoriented
- 21. Angst and Hypothetical Miracles
- 22. A Girl Is Not Doing That
- 23. Angst and Fire Choir
- 24. A Girl Is Rapt with Attention
- 25. Angst and Metal
- PART 2
- 26. A Girl Is Playing the Long Game
- 27. Angst and Hikes
- 28. A Girl Thinks This Pitch Is Going Well
- 29. Angst and Saying Yes
- 30. A Girl Is on Her Ass
- 31. Angst and Cellular Device Access
- 32. Angst and Goodbyes
- 33. A Girl Is on a Plane
- 34. Angst and the Middle Seat
- 35. A Girl Doesn’t Understand Your Compliment
- 36. Angst and LAX
- 37. A Girl Is Going to Implode if Siri Keeps Ignoring Her Calls
- 38. A Girl Has Never Been to Her Mom’s House
- 39. Angst and Salons
- 40. A Girl Appreciates a Donut
- 41. Angst and Jamie’s Room
- 42. Angst and Dad
- 43. A Girl Can Rock a Catfish
- 44. Angst and Rom-Coms
- 45. A Girl Needs Adventure
- 46. Angst and Improv Practice
- 47. A Girl Fancies Zarar
- 48. Angst and Empathy
- 49. A Girl Is Questioning Everything
- 50. Angst and Pizza Hangs
- 51. A Girl Is Taking All the Calls
- 52. Angst and Good/Bad News
- 53. Angst and Preparation
- 54. A Girl Needs to Do Better
- 55. A Girl Is on Time for Once
- 56. Angst and Emails
- 57. A Girl Gets Feedback
- 58. Angst and Expectations
- 59. A Girl Is on the Train Again
- 60. Angst and a Barbecue
- 61. A Girl Does Family Dinner
- 62. A Girl Is Braving Another Open Mic
- 63. Angst and Ice Cream
- 64. A Girl Needs a Break
- 65. Angst and Vulnerability
- 66. A Girl Is at a Rooftop Soiree
- 67. Angst and Ideas
- 68. A Girl Is Conflicted
- 69. Angst and Storytime
- 70. A Girl Is Inferior
- 71. Angst and Preparations
- 72. A Girl Meets a Family
- 73. A Girl Has Lost Control
- 74. A Girl Is a Hot Mess
- PART 3
- 75. Angst and Road Trips
- 76. A Girl Is Running on Fumes
- 77. Angst and Recall
- 78. A Girl Is Having Trouble with This
- 79. Angst and Resolve
- 80. Angst and Confrontation
- 81. A Girl Is Hanging with Her Family!
- 82. A Girl’s Head Is Spinning
- 83. A Girl Ruined Everything
- 84. Angst and Intervention
- 85. A Girl Is Not Sure How to Proceed
- 86. Angst and Support
- 87. A Girl Has Some Work to Do
- 88. Angst and Progress
- 89. A Girl Isn’t Tired
- 90. Angst and Birthdays
- 91. A Girl Is Voluntarily Here
- 92. A Girl Wants to Make It Better
- 93. Angst and Letting Go
- 94. A Girl Works a Meeting
- 95. Angst and Wine
- 96. A Girl Is Enjoying Herself
- 97. Angst and Bridges
- 98. A Girl Is Going for It
- 99. Angst and Los Angeles
- 100. Angst and Hope
- 101. A Girl Has One More Letter
- 102. A Girl Is Trying Again
- 103. Angst and Pride
- 104. A Girl Is Freaking Flying
- Epilogue
- JAMIE
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Christine Riccio
- About the Author
- Newsletter Sign-up
I twist around, throwing some dirt with my oar in the process. It hits Zarar across the knees.
Oof. I moved too quickly. I let go of the oar and grip the sides of my head, trying to press the angry tendrils of pain away. “Hey, teach,” I grumble. “How’s it cracking?”
Zarar pads over and takes a seat on the plank across from me.
“You’re not supposed to touch the canoes.”
I look up at him, one hand still on my head. Where I expect to find a smug expression, all I see is concern. He’s in a dark sweatshirt with the Rediscover Yourself logo imprinted across it.
“Do you have any siblings?” I ask.
He blinks. “Yes, and in all seriousness, your canoe privileges are suspended.”
I drop my hand and look him straight in the eyes. He’s so calm, and unusually self-assured for someone who asked me out a couple of hours ago and got bluntly rejected.
“I was also serious about your eyes yesterday,” he says quietly.
I sit back. “How many times do you plan to hit on me this week? It’s fine, I just want to be prepared.”
Zarar shrugs. “I like you.”
I study him. “What kind of siblings do you have, Zarar?”
“I have an older brother. Are you upset?” he asks, tilting his head suddenly.
I blink a couple of times and stretch my jaw up and down to loosen my face. “No.”
“You’re upset,” he says.
“I’m great,” I insist.
“How are you feeling?”
“Great!” I blow out a breath. “What’s up with you, Zarar? What’s your deal, why do you work here? Why do you smell like the color green? Feel free to answer chronologically.”
Zarar relaxes his posture. “I’m an accountant, but I’ve been trying out a bunch of new career paths, not sure what will stick. I’m looking for my passion. I don’t know … I’ve been around trees a lot? I don’t think you’re okay. Does it have to do with Siri?”
I narrow my eyes at him.
“Are you two twins?” He continues, “I didn’t catch the resemblance until today, seeing both your hair slicked back away from your faces.”
I stand up.
“You’re not supposed to stand in the canoe,” he says.
I sit back down. “If I ever get my hands on some paint I’m making this a Bucket. You can teach Bucketing. Ask your students to choose and mount their Buckets. You’re gonna have to print new pamphlets, A Guide to Bucket Safety.”
Zarar’s concerned expression doesn’t waver. He holds my eyes. I swallow and stare back, my smile melting after a few seconds of silence.
“Zarar, Siri and I haven’t seen each—”