She’ll want to join Duck Waterfall. What if she’ll want to do stand-up too? And if they’re involved and Dawn has to choose a side … I mean, she has to choose Siri’s if they’re together. She has to. Eventually I’m the odd man out of that equation. And when their relationship goes to shit like every relationship does, other than Z’s damn parents, what happens then?

Do I have to choose a side?

I’d have to. Just like I have to choose now, just like I’ve had to choose my entire life. I’ve been with Dad. There’s been no crossover; it’s too messy for the separated parties. And when that happens, I’d have to choose my fucking sister. Isn’t it written into my DNA? Dawn could easily need to distance herself from me by association.

This is a nightmare. I hate everything about this, and I have no one to blame but myself. I’m messed up. This is all messed up. Everything I’ve done is messed up.

I’ve backed myself into a corner without realizing it.

When I look up, everyone’s watching like I’m a fragile vase that might fall over and break into a million pieces.

I meet Siri’s eyes. “Were you … fucking my best friend while we were switched?” My voice is shaky and weak.

Siri’s eyes go wide. “What?! No, Jamie!”

I feel the shift as the logical side of my brain completely flips off. My mouth barks words without running them by me in any capacity. “Answer the question.”

“I just did!” Siri throws her hands up. “I said no! We just had a connection.”

“You just had a connection,” I repeat, lowering into a squat.

Jealousy. That bitch always finds me. She’s a fist squeezing the air from my lungs. I don’t want to share my best friend with my little sister.

“Sorry, bad time to bring it up,” Dad says quietly.

“Shut up!” we both scream at him.

Siri’s eyes flit to me as if we’re in on some joke together; she thinks we’re going to share a laugh. I glare at the floor.

“Can someone explain to me who Dawn is and how the hell all this happened?” Mara says.

“We ran into each other at the retreat, Mother,” I hear Siri say.

“Ran into each other? By accident?” Grier chimes in.

There’s frantic knocking at the door. We all look up at it. None of us moves. They knock again.

Mara gets up from the bed and opens the door. Grams and Papa stand there together in the hallway.

“What the actual intercourse?” Mom blurts.

“Language, Mara,” Papa says cheerfully.

“Papa?” Siri says, voice laden with hope.

The room erupts into chaos. Everyone speaks over one another for a long ear-splitting minute until someone flips the lights on and off.