Chapters (116)
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Dedication
- PART 1
- 1. Angst
- 2. Angst and the Journey
- 3. A Girl Is Mildly Traumatized
- 4. A Girl Is Off to Colorado, Apparently
- 5. Angst and Socializing
- 6. A Girl Is Here for the Introspection
- 7. Angst and the Shower Girl
- 8.???
- 9. Angst and Fishing
- 10. A Girl Is Sampling Sisterhood
- 11. Angst and Swimming
- 12. Is a Girl Alive?
- 13. Angst and All-Consuming Confusion
- 14. A Girl Is Clammy
- 15. Angst and Older Sisters
- 16. A Girl Has Been Caught Off Guard
- 17. Angst and Flashbacks
- 18. A Girl Is Trying to Reconnect
- 19. Angst and Reprocessing
- 20. A Girl Is a Little Disoriented
- 21. Angst and Hypothetical Miracles
- 22. A Girl Is Not Doing That
- 23. Angst and Fire Choir
- 24. A Girl Is Rapt with Attention
- 25. Angst and Metal
- PART 2
- 26. A Girl Is Playing the Long Game
- 27. Angst and Hikes
- 28. A Girl Thinks This Pitch Is Going Well
- 29. Angst and Saying Yes
- 30. A Girl Is on Her Ass
- 31. Angst and Cellular Device Access
- 32. Angst and Goodbyes
- 33. A Girl Is on a Plane
- 34. Angst and the Middle Seat
- 35. A Girl Doesn’t Understand Your Compliment
- 36. Angst and LAX
- 37. A Girl Is Going to Implode if Siri Keeps Ignoring Her Calls
- 38. A Girl Has Never Been to Her Mom’s House
- 39. Angst and Salons
- 40. A Girl Appreciates a Donut
- 41. Angst and Jamie’s Room
- 42. Angst and Dad
- 43. A Girl Can Rock a Catfish
- 44. Angst and Rom-Coms
- 45. A Girl Needs Adventure
- 46. Angst and Improv Practice
- 47. A Girl Fancies Zarar
- 48. Angst and Empathy
- 49. A Girl Is Questioning Everything
- 50. Angst and Pizza Hangs
- 51. A Girl Is Taking All the Calls
- 52. Angst and Good/Bad News
- 53. Angst and Preparation
- 54. A Girl Needs to Do Better
- 55. A Girl Is on Time for Once
- 56. Angst and Emails
- 57. A Girl Gets Feedback
- 58. Angst and Expectations
- 59. A Girl Is on the Train Again
- 60. Angst and a Barbecue
- 61. A Girl Does Family Dinner
- 62. A Girl Is Braving Another Open Mic
- 63. Angst and Ice Cream
- 64. A Girl Needs a Break
- 65. Angst and Vulnerability
- 66. A Girl Is at a Rooftop Soiree
- 67. Angst and Ideas
- 68. A Girl Is Conflicted
- 69. Angst and Storytime
- 70. A Girl Is Inferior
- 71. Angst and Preparations
- 72. A Girl Meets a Family
- 73. A Girl Has Lost Control
- 74. A Girl Is a Hot Mess
- PART 3
- 75. Angst and Road Trips
- 76. A Girl Is Running on Fumes
- 77. Angst and Recall
- 78. A Girl Is Having Trouble with This
- 79. Angst and Resolve
- 80. Angst and Confrontation
- 81. A Girl Is Hanging with Her Family!
- 82. A Girl’s Head Is Spinning
- 83. A Girl Ruined Everything
- 84. Angst and Intervention
- 85. A Girl Is Not Sure How to Proceed
- 86. Angst and Support
- 87. A Girl Has Some Work to Do
- 88. Angst and Progress
- 89. A Girl Isn’t Tired
- 90. Angst and Birthdays
- 91. A Girl Is Voluntarily Here
- 92. A Girl Wants to Make It Better
- 93. Angst and Letting Go
- 94. A Girl Works a Meeting
- 95. Angst and Wine
- 96. A Girl Is Enjoying Herself
- 97. Angst and Bridges
- 98. A Girl Is Going for It
- 99. Angst and Los Angeles
- 100. Angst and Hope
- 101. A Girl Has One More Letter
- 102. A Girl Is Trying Again
- 103. Angst and Pride
- 104. A Girl Is Freaking Flying
- Epilogue
- JAMIE
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Christine Riccio
- About the Author
- Newsletter Sign-up
“You’re losing it, woman. Jamie, would you care to fill us in on whatever the hell you’ve gotten us into?”
I guess she never told Dad about the “Jamie is imaginary” lie. He probably would have brought blackmail back into the equation. My dad was going to blackmail my mother out of her children.
“Siri,” Mom cries. “Explain!”
Mom’s glaring at me, Dad’s watching expectantly.
I … can’t find the air to speak. I don’t know which of them was more wrong. Why do I feel the innate need to choose a side right now? I feel betrayed in every way by these people who brought me into the world. I don’t want to ever have to choose a parent. They shouldn’t be making me choose. I’m supposed to start our dialogue. I brace my hand against the wall.
The bathroom door bursts open with loud dramatic flair, and Jamie strides into the room. Mom screams and bangs into the wall again. Dad makes a muffled, horrified noise, his face losing color. I push out the stagnant breath I’ve been holding for the last twenty seconds.
“Yeah, so I’m Jamie. I guess you haven’t been following Siri on social media or you’d know we look a lot alike nowadays.” She shrugs.
I frown, watching my mother slowly slide down to the floor. Her pointer finger wavers from Jamie to myself. I meet her eyes. “I found out about Jamie.”
“Siri, you don’t understand.” Mom suddenly looks like a caged animal.
I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.
Jamie walks up to me. “Save it, Mara. Take a seat on the bed; we’re going to speak first.”
Dad’s wearing a flabbergasted expression. He looks to Jamie. “What did she do?”
Mom crawls over to the free queen bed and ambles onto it.
Jamie pulls on a smile as she turns to Dad. “Our mother here brainwashed young Siri into thinking that she never had a sister. She told her that I was an imaginary friend conjured due to extreme loneliness, moved to a new house, and got rid of any and all pictures I was in.”
Mom’s desperately shaking her head. “No, Jamie. Siri wasn’t eating, she wasn’t sleeping, she was wasting away. I had to do something to fix it, to help her move on.”
I don’t want to hear it right now. “What did she say about talking, Mom?” Mom’s eyes flit back to me.
Jamie maneuvers herself so that her back is facing the wall opposite the beds, the lecture vantage point of the room. I move to stand next to her.
Jamie crosses her arms. “Long story short, you’ve both been horrible parents.”
“You really do look so much alike,” Dad says dreamily.