Chapters (116)
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Dedication
- PART 1
- 1. Angst
- 2. Angst and the Journey
- 3. A Girl Is Mildly Traumatized
- 4. A Girl Is Off to Colorado, Apparently
- 5. Angst and Socializing
- 6. A Girl Is Here for the Introspection
- 7. Angst and the Shower Girl
- 8.???
- 9. Angst and Fishing
- 10. A Girl Is Sampling Sisterhood
- 11. Angst and Swimming
- 12. Is a Girl Alive?
- 13. Angst and All-Consuming Confusion
- 14. A Girl Is Clammy
- 15. Angst and Older Sisters
- 16. A Girl Has Been Caught Off Guard
- 17. Angst and Flashbacks
- 18. A Girl Is Trying to Reconnect
- 19. Angst and Reprocessing
- 20. A Girl Is a Little Disoriented
- 21. Angst and Hypothetical Miracles
- 22. A Girl Is Not Doing That
- 23. Angst and Fire Choir
- 24. A Girl Is Rapt with Attention
- 25. Angst and Metal
- PART 2
- 26. A Girl Is Playing the Long Game
- 27. Angst and Hikes
- 28. A Girl Thinks This Pitch Is Going Well
- 29. Angst and Saying Yes
- 30. A Girl Is on Her Ass
- 31. Angst and Cellular Device Access
- 32. Angst and Goodbyes
- 33. A Girl Is on a Plane
- 34. Angst and the Middle Seat
- 35. A Girl Doesn’t Understand Your Compliment
- 36. Angst and LAX
- 37. A Girl Is Going to Implode if Siri Keeps Ignoring Her Calls
- 38. A Girl Has Never Been to Her Mom’s House
- 39. Angst and Salons
- 40. A Girl Appreciates a Donut
- 41. Angst and Jamie’s Room
- 42. Angst and Dad
- 43. A Girl Can Rock a Catfish
- 44. Angst and Rom-Coms
- 45. A Girl Needs Adventure
- 46. Angst and Improv Practice
- 47. A Girl Fancies Zarar
- 48. Angst and Empathy
- 49. A Girl Is Questioning Everything
- 50. Angst and Pizza Hangs
- 51. A Girl Is Taking All the Calls
- 52. Angst and Good/Bad News
- 53. Angst and Preparation
- 54. A Girl Needs to Do Better
- 55. A Girl Is on Time for Once
- 56. Angst and Emails
- 57. A Girl Gets Feedback
- 58. Angst and Expectations
- 59. A Girl Is on the Train Again
- 60. Angst and a Barbecue
- 61. A Girl Does Family Dinner
- 62. A Girl Is Braving Another Open Mic
- 63. Angst and Ice Cream
- 64. A Girl Needs a Break
- 65. Angst and Vulnerability
- 66. A Girl Is at a Rooftop Soiree
- 67. Angst and Ideas
- 68. A Girl Is Conflicted
- 69. Angst and Storytime
- 70. A Girl Is Inferior
- 71. Angst and Preparations
- 72. A Girl Meets a Family
- 73. A Girl Has Lost Control
- 74. A Girl Is a Hot Mess
- PART 3
- 75. Angst and Road Trips
- 76. A Girl Is Running on Fumes
- 77. Angst and Recall
- 78. A Girl Is Having Trouble with This
- 79. Angst and Resolve
- 80. Angst and Confrontation
- 81. A Girl Is Hanging with Her Family!
- 82. A Girl’s Head Is Spinning
- 83. A Girl Ruined Everything
- 84. Angst and Intervention
- 85. A Girl Is Not Sure How to Proceed
- 86. Angst and Support
- 87. A Girl Has Some Work to Do
- 88. Angst and Progress
- 89. A Girl Isn’t Tired
- 90. Angst and Birthdays
- 91. A Girl Is Voluntarily Here
- 92. A Girl Wants to Make It Better
- 93. Angst and Letting Go
- 94. A Girl Works a Meeting
- 95. Angst and Wine
- 96. A Girl Is Enjoying Herself
- 97. Angst and Bridges
- 98. A Girl Is Going for It
- 99. Angst and Los Angeles
- 100. Angst and Hope
- 101. A Girl Has One More Letter
- 102. A Girl Is Trying Again
- 103. Angst and Pride
- 104. A Girl Is Freaking Flying
- Epilogue
- JAMIE
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Christine Riccio
- About the Author
- Newsletter Sign-up
I roll my eyes. “Let’s stop talking about me for, like, a minute.” I take a swig of beer.
“I’m an open book here, Jamie.”
I swallow. “Okay, time for twenty first-date questions with Zarar.”
“Shoot.”
“What did you want to be when you grew up, back when you were five?”
He shrugs and sticks up a finger. “I don’t think I’ve ever known. It’s why I’m job-hopping right now.” His lip tips upward.
“What’s your favorite food?”
He raises a second finger, counting for me, I guess. “A dish my mom makes, chicken biryani with fresh raita and aloo shami.”
“Favorite band?”
Three fingers. “*NSYNC,” he says freely.
I almost do a spit take and glance around. “Zarar, shut up, don’t say that so loud here. You’ll get fired; they’re way too pop.”
“I always liked watching them dance.”
“Have you tried dancing as a career too?”
Four. “I did dance classes growing up.”
I shake my head, smiling. “Of course you did.”
“What do you eat for breakfast in the morning?”
Five. “I’m an oatmeal guy.”
“Bleh.”
His forehead wrinkles up. “What do you eat for breakfast?”
“Here I eat Siri’s Special K, which tastes like nothing. At home I grab a breakfast burrito down the street, or a granola bar.”
“That sounds difficult. I like to go straight to the kitchen when I wake up.”
“Favorite movie?”
Six. “Jab We Met.”
“I’ve never heard of that.”
“Well, you should watch it. It’s on Amazon Prime.”
I nod. “I will.”
Seven. “Dream goal?”
Zarar leans back and takes a swig of his beer. “To settle down in the right job with the right person and find happiness.”
I look down into my drink. “You are such a dweeb.”
He shrugs. “That’s the dream.”
“Why did you and your last girlfriend break up?”
Eight. “She found someone else when we went to different states for college.”
“Did she cheat on you?” I ask, appalled. “You are a precious flower of a human.”
Nine. He quirks his head sideways, and my eyes dip to admire the muscles in his neck. “It happens. We weren’t each other’s lobsters.”
My brows pull together. “And you’re still such a sappy-ass romantic? How do you believe in that forever happy bullshit?”
Ten. “Because I do. It’s real.”
I roll my eyes, twisting to gaze out at the red lights of cars flowing down the veins of the city.
Zarar slides over till our legs touch and we’re side by side. He’s facing me and I’m facing outward.
He takes another sip of beer. “How exhausting is it to be over the entire idea of love?”