Chapters (116)
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Dedication
- PART 1
- 1. Angst
- 2. Angst and the Journey
- 3. A Girl Is Mildly Traumatized
- 4. A Girl Is Off to Colorado, Apparently
- 5. Angst and Socializing
- 6. A Girl Is Here for the Introspection
- 7. Angst and the Shower Girl
- 8.???
- 9. Angst and Fishing
- 10. A Girl Is Sampling Sisterhood
- 11. Angst and Swimming
- 12. Is a Girl Alive?
- 13. Angst and All-Consuming Confusion
- 14. A Girl Is Clammy
- 15. Angst and Older Sisters
- 16. A Girl Has Been Caught Off Guard
- 17. Angst and Flashbacks
- 18. A Girl Is Trying to Reconnect
- 19. Angst and Reprocessing
- 20. A Girl Is a Little Disoriented
- 21. Angst and Hypothetical Miracles
- 22. A Girl Is Not Doing That
- 23. Angst and Fire Choir
- 24. A Girl Is Rapt with Attention
- 25. Angst and Metal
- PART 2
- 26. A Girl Is Playing the Long Game
- 27. Angst and Hikes
- 28. A Girl Thinks This Pitch Is Going Well
- 29. Angst and Saying Yes
- 30. A Girl Is on Her Ass
- 31. Angst and Cellular Device Access
- 32. Angst and Goodbyes
- 33. A Girl Is on a Plane
- 34. Angst and the Middle Seat
- 35. A Girl Doesn’t Understand Your Compliment
- 36. Angst and LAX
- 37. A Girl Is Going to Implode if Siri Keeps Ignoring Her Calls
- 38. A Girl Has Never Been to Her Mom’s House
- 39. Angst and Salons
- 40. A Girl Appreciates a Donut
- 41. Angst and Jamie’s Room
- 42. Angst and Dad
- 43. A Girl Can Rock a Catfish
- 44. Angst and Rom-Coms
- 45. A Girl Needs Adventure
- 46. Angst and Improv Practice
- 47. A Girl Fancies Zarar
- 48. Angst and Empathy
- 49. A Girl Is Questioning Everything
- 50. Angst and Pizza Hangs
- 51. A Girl Is Taking All the Calls
- 52. Angst and Good/Bad News
- 53. Angst and Preparation
- 54. A Girl Needs to Do Better
- 55. A Girl Is on Time for Once
- 56. Angst and Emails
- 57. A Girl Gets Feedback
- 58. Angst and Expectations
- 59. A Girl Is on the Train Again
- 60. Angst and a Barbecue
- 61. A Girl Does Family Dinner
- 62. A Girl Is Braving Another Open Mic
- 63. Angst and Ice Cream
- 64. A Girl Needs a Break
- 65. Angst and Vulnerability
- 66. A Girl Is at a Rooftop Soiree
- 67. Angst and Ideas
- 68. A Girl Is Conflicted
- 69. Angst and Storytime
- 70. A Girl Is Inferior
- 71. Angst and Preparations
- 72. A Girl Meets a Family
- 73. A Girl Has Lost Control
- 74. A Girl Is a Hot Mess
- PART 3
- 75. Angst and Road Trips
- 76. A Girl Is Running on Fumes
- 77. Angst and Recall
- 78. A Girl Is Having Trouble with This
- 79. Angst and Resolve
- 80. Angst and Confrontation
- 81. A Girl Is Hanging with Her Family!
- 82. A Girl’s Head Is Spinning
- 83. A Girl Ruined Everything
- 84. Angst and Intervention
- 85. A Girl Is Not Sure How to Proceed
- 86. Angst and Support
- 87. A Girl Has Some Work to Do
- 88. Angst and Progress
- 89. A Girl Isn’t Tired
- 90. Angst and Birthdays
- 91. A Girl Is Voluntarily Here
- 92. A Girl Wants to Make It Better
- 93. Angst and Letting Go
- 94. A Girl Works a Meeting
- 95. Angst and Wine
- 96. A Girl Is Enjoying Herself
- 97. Angst and Bridges
- 98. A Girl Is Going for It
- 99. Angst and Los Angeles
- 100. Angst and Hope
- 101. A Girl Has One More Letter
- 102. A Girl Is Trying Again
- 103. Angst and Pride
- 104. A Girl Is Freaking Flying
- Epilogue
- JAMIE
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Christine Riccio
- About the Author
- Newsletter Sign-up
Dawn taps away on her phone. “Think about it, woman. You are a food artist.” She flips it around to reveal my Instagram feed and scrolls through all the posts from the last three months with her finger.
I roll my eyes. “No, I’m not.”
“Um, if food tasting good and looking great is artistry, which it is, you are a food artist.”
I flip to yet another recipe. “Dawn, can I ask you a super personal question?”
“You may.”
I look up from the book. “Do you also have an … estranged dad?”
Dawn’s chin tilts downward ever so slightly. “No, he died in a car crash when I was six.”
I open and close my mouth. “Oh my, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.” I frown down at the island.
Dawn pulls out a stool on the opposite side of the granite and sits. I close the recipe book and sit next to her.
“We kind of have that in common,” she continues slowly. “We both lost our dads around the same time, and were raised by strong stubborn women.” She smiles slightly. “They have a way of churning out more strong stubborn women.”
“You are strong.” I smile at her. “You’re so self-assured and on top of things, your mom did a great job.”
“Why, thank ya! I try.” She uses a funny Southern accent and flips her hair.
I laugh. “I don’t think anyone would ever describe me as strong,” I say, looking at the knees of her mint-green overalls. They’re pressed up against my own knees.
“Are you kidding? I feel like you haven’t seen your arms.” Dawn scoots closer, opening her knees so there’s less space between us on our stools. She pushes my hair behind my ear. Her fingers trail down to my shoulder, and she slowly runs her hand down my arm. Shivers race through me.
“I don’t mean physically strong,” I explain quietly. “I mean, I’m like a delicate butterfly, the smallest mishap can send me spiraling into tears or anger.” I take a deep breath. “I kind of left out a thing about Jamie and me and our parents.”
Dawn looks up from my biceps to catch my eyes. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she says softly, searching my gaze. She’s taller, she’s standing, she must have slid off the stool. My knees open to allow her closer.
“All that stuff you said about me being on top of things and self-assured,” she says, “I’ve been working really hard on that. It didn’t come naturally. I was really messed up just last year.” Our faces have gotten unbearably close. “If you want to be, you can be. That’s all it really comes down to.”
I tap my forehead to hers. How did she go from kind to cute to sexy in a half a second?