Chapters (116)
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Dedication
- PART 1
- 1. Angst
- 2. Angst and the Journey
- 3. A Girl Is Mildly Traumatized
- 4. A Girl Is Off to Colorado, Apparently
- 5. Angst and Socializing
- 6. A Girl Is Here for the Introspection
- 7. Angst and the Shower Girl
- 8.???
- 9. Angst and Fishing
- 10. A Girl Is Sampling Sisterhood
- 11. Angst and Swimming
- 12. Is a Girl Alive?
- 13. Angst and All-Consuming Confusion
- 14. A Girl Is Clammy
- 15. Angst and Older Sisters
- 16. A Girl Has Been Caught Off Guard
- 17. Angst and Flashbacks
- 18. A Girl Is Trying to Reconnect
- 19. Angst and Reprocessing
- 20. A Girl Is a Little Disoriented
- 21. Angst and Hypothetical Miracles
- 22. A Girl Is Not Doing That
- 23. Angst and Fire Choir
- 24. A Girl Is Rapt with Attention
- 25. Angst and Metal
- PART 2
- 26. A Girl Is Playing the Long Game
- 27. Angst and Hikes
- 28. A Girl Thinks This Pitch Is Going Well
- 29. Angst and Saying Yes
- 30. A Girl Is on Her Ass
- 31. Angst and Cellular Device Access
- 32. Angst and Goodbyes
- 33. A Girl Is on a Plane
- 34. Angst and the Middle Seat
- 35. A Girl Doesn’t Understand Your Compliment
- 36. Angst and LAX
- 37. A Girl Is Going to Implode if Siri Keeps Ignoring Her Calls
- 38. A Girl Has Never Been to Her Mom’s House
- 39. Angst and Salons
- 40. A Girl Appreciates a Donut
- 41. Angst and Jamie’s Room
- 42. Angst and Dad
- 43. A Girl Can Rock a Catfish
- 44. Angst and Rom-Coms
- 45. A Girl Needs Adventure
- 46. Angst and Improv Practice
- 47. A Girl Fancies Zarar
- 48. Angst and Empathy
- 49. A Girl Is Questioning Everything
- 50. Angst and Pizza Hangs
- 51. A Girl Is Taking All the Calls
- 52. Angst and Good/Bad News
- 53. Angst and Preparation
- 54. A Girl Needs to Do Better
- 55. A Girl Is on Time for Once
- 56. Angst and Emails
- 57. A Girl Gets Feedback
- 58. Angst and Expectations
- 59. A Girl Is on the Train Again
- 60. Angst and a Barbecue
- 61. A Girl Does Family Dinner
- 62. A Girl Is Braving Another Open Mic
- 63. Angst and Ice Cream
- 64. A Girl Needs a Break
- 65. Angst and Vulnerability
- 66. A Girl Is at a Rooftop Soiree
- 67. Angst and Ideas
- 68. A Girl Is Conflicted
- 69. Angst and Storytime
- 70. A Girl Is Inferior
- 71. Angst and Preparations
- 72. A Girl Meets a Family
- 73. A Girl Has Lost Control
- 74. A Girl Is a Hot Mess
- PART 3
- 75. Angst and Road Trips
- 76. A Girl Is Running on Fumes
- 77. Angst and Recall
- 78. A Girl Is Having Trouble with This
- 79. Angst and Resolve
- 80. Angst and Confrontation
- 81. A Girl Is Hanging with Her Family!
- 82. A Girl’s Head Is Spinning
- 83. A Girl Ruined Everything
- 84. Angst and Intervention
- 85. A Girl Is Not Sure How to Proceed
- 86. Angst and Support
- 87. A Girl Has Some Work to Do
- 88. Angst and Progress
- 89. A Girl Isn’t Tired
- 90. Angst and Birthdays
- 91. A Girl Is Voluntarily Here
- 92. A Girl Wants to Make It Better
- 93. Angst and Letting Go
- 94. A Girl Works a Meeting
- 95. Angst and Wine
- 96. A Girl Is Enjoying Herself
- 97. Angst and Bridges
- 98. A Girl Is Going for It
- 99. Angst and Los Angeles
- 100. Angst and Hope
- 101. A Girl Has One More Letter
- 102. A Girl Is Trying Again
- 103. Angst and Pride
- 104. A Girl Is Freaking Flying
- Epilogue
- JAMIE
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Christine Riccio
- About the Author
- Newsletter Sign-up
I swallow as her hand falls away. We’re so close. Her bent leg is pressed up against my thigh. I stay perfectly still, scared any sound or minuscule movement might give her reason to shift away. Dawn holds my eyes for a long moment.
I feel something fall onto my pants and look down. My cricket ice cream is dripping over my hand. “Excrement,” I mumble.
“Oh no.” Dawn looks over at her own ice cream which is also starting to drip over onto her hand.
We take a second to do some ice cream maintenance.
“Come on, let’s still take the picture,” I urge. I want this picture no matter who I look like.
“Come closer,” she directs me. I come even closer, wearing a close-lipped smile. Dawn looks like happiness incarnate on the screen with her mint-green outfit and pink honeysuckle raspberry ice cream. She raises her cone a little higher, trying to get the whole thing in the shot, and accidentally clocks me in the face as she takes the picture.
She gasps and lowers the phone. A pink splotch is dripping down from my cheekbone like runny paint.
“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, Siri.”
I laugh and reach out, trying to lift her phone arm again. “Don’t be sorry. Come on, get the shot.”
Dawn smiles and lifts the phone. As she gets it back up to eye level, I bop her on the cheek with my ice cream. It’s an exercise in facial control to keep my lips closed as Dawn gasps again.
Her face goes slack. “You did not just bop me with your bug-ass ice cream.”
“I definitely did.”
Mirth sparks in her dark eyes. She raises the camera. We look into it, cheek to cheek, with close-lipped smiles and ice cream running down our faces. Dawn snaps a bunch of options, slightly switching her pose and the angle of the phone to get the shop properly in the background.
A shimmery warmth is growing in me. I’m high on the performance, and her attention, and I’m suddenly seized with the strangest urge to lick the ice cream off her face. I turn my head and lick the green ice cream off her cheek.
It tastes like mint and joy.
Dawn stills. She lowers the iPhone once more. Slowly, with her gaze trained down, she turns her face to mine. We’re almost nose to nose, and when she meets my eyes with her deep endless ones, I swear I see desire there. I lean forward the slightest bit and kiss her. Her cold lips are pillow soft and they taste like honey.
She kisses me back.