“Don’t worry about me being mad at you—” There’s a murmuring on the other end of the line. “Are you with Dawn right now?” I ask, anger lightly coating my words.

More murmuring. I stand up off the bed, needing to pace.

“Are you two hanging out? Put her on, Siri.”

“She doesn’t want to talk to you, Jamie. She’s just helping me out.”

“Helping you out?” I repeat in disbelief. “She’s helping you—the imposter—out, and she won’t talk to me?”

“Jamie, come on, this isn’t about Dawn.”

I blow out an indignant sigh. “Fine. What’s up?”

There’s a pause on Siri’s end.

“I … your dad—” Siri sucks in a breath.

“—did something dickish? Dad had a threesome? Dad never showed up for dinner? Dad tried to cook and burned down the kitchen? Feel free to stop me when I get it. Dad’s decided he wants to go to space? Dad bought a monkey? Dad’s dating Cameron Dia—”

Siri finally interrupts, “Dad was at your latest comedy gig.”

My mouth clamps shut.

“The one right before the retreat,” she says quickly. “The one that I think made you decide to go, right?”

“How?” My voice has thinned.

“I don’t know…”

How the hell did he even know where I was gigging? Spies? Little birds? Does he know the owner or something? I clear my throat. “Are you telling me my father took the time to come out to one of my gigs, and it happened to be the most embarrassing night of my life?”

Wow, Grier’s going to reinforce the fact that I can’t do this. I can already hear it. I can see him laying down the next stipulation, amending his contract. Stop chasing something you’re not equipped to succeed in.

“Jamie?” Siri’s voice is in my ear. “Jamie? Hello?! Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah, Dad was at my big bomb.” I try to make my voice sound light. Sounding light is one of my specialties.

I try to concentrate on Siri’s voice, but I can’t stop imagining all the things my father’s going to spew to crush this dream entirely the next time I see him. He might have already said them to Siri.

“Have you heard a word I said in the last two minutes?” Siri yelps.

My surroundings blur as another wave of horror hits. “Oh god.” I lean a hand against the blue wall. My dad watched a set that was almost entirely about him.

“Jamie! Are you hearing me? Dad said you were great and he has notes! Dad said you were great! Dad said you were great, Jamie. Is this getting through your incessant frantic mumbling?!”

My head snaps up. “Wait, what?”

“He said you were great, you just needed to tighten it up, and he has notes in his phone or something for you.”