Chapters (116)
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Dedication
- PART 1
- 1. Angst
- 2. Angst and the Journey
- 3. A Girl Is Mildly Traumatized
- 4. A Girl Is Off to Colorado, Apparently
- 5. Angst and Socializing
- 6. A Girl Is Here for the Introspection
- 7. Angst and the Shower Girl
- 8.???
- 9. Angst and Fishing
- 10. A Girl Is Sampling Sisterhood
- 11. Angst and Swimming
- 12. Is a Girl Alive?
- 13. Angst and All-Consuming Confusion
- 14. A Girl Is Clammy
- 15. Angst and Older Sisters
- 16. A Girl Has Been Caught Off Guard
- 17. Angst and Flashbacks
- 18. A Girl Is Trying to Reconnect
- 19. Angst and Reprocessing
- 20. A Girl Is a Little Disoriented
- 21. Angst and Hypothetical Miracles
- 22. A Girl Is Not Doing That
- 23. Angst and Fire Choir
- 24. A Girl Is Rapt with Attention
- 25. Angst and Metal
- PART 2
- 26. A Girl Is Playing the Long Game
- 27. Angst and Hikes
- 28. A Girl Thinks This Pitch Is Going Well
- 29. Angst and Saying Yes
- 30. A Girl Is on Her Ass
- 31. Angst and Cellular Device Access
- 32. Angst and Goodbyes
- 33. A Girl Is on a Plane
- 34. Angst and the Middle Seat
- 35. A Girl Doesn’t Understand Your Compliment
- 36. Angst and LAX
- 37. A Girl Is Going to Implode if Siri Keeps Ignoring Her Calls
- 38. A Girl Has Never Been to Her Mom’s House
- 39. Angst and Salons
- 40. A Girl Appreciates a Donut
- 41. Angst and Jamie’s Room
- 42. Angst and Dad
- 43. A Girl Can Rock a Catfish
- 44. Angst and Rom-Coms
- 45. A Girl Needs Adventure
- 46. Angst and Improv Practice
- 47. A Girl Fancies Zarar
- 48. Angst and Empathy
- 49. A Girl Is Questioning Everything
- 50. Angst and Pizza Hangs
- 51. A Girl Is Taking All the Calls
- 52. Angst and Good/Bad News
- 53. Angst and Preparation
- 54. A Girl Needs to Do Better
- 55. A Girl Is on Time for Once
- 56. Angst and Emails
- 57. A Girl Gets Feedback
- 58. Angst and Expectations
- 59. A Girl Is on the Train Again
- 60. Angst and a Barbecue
- 61. A Girl Does Family Dinner
- 62. A Girl Is Braving Another Open Mic
- 63. Angst and Ice Cream
- 64. A Girl Needs a Break
- 65. Angst and Vulnerability
- 66. A Girl Is at a Rooftop Soiree
- 67. Angst and Ideas
- 68. A Girl Is Conflicted
- 69. Angst and Storytime
- 70. A Girl Is Inferior
- 71. Angst and Preparations
- 72. A Girl Meets a Family
- 73. A Girl Has Lost Control
- 74. A Girl Is a Hot Mess
- PART 3
- 75. Angst and Road Trips
- 76. A Girl Is Running on Fumes
- 77. Angst and Recall
- 78. A Girl Is Having Trouble with This
- 79. Angst and Resolve
- 80. Angst and Confrontation
- 81. A Girl Is Hanging with Her Family!
- 82. A Girl’s Head Is Spinning
- 83. A Girl Ruined Everything
- 84. Angst and Intervention
- 85. A Girl Is Not Sure How to Proceed
- 86. Angst and Support
- 87. A Girl Has Some Work to Do
- 88. Angst and Progress
- 89. A Girl Isn’t Tired
- 90. Angst and Birthdays
- 91. A Girl Is Voluntarily Here
- 92. A Girl Wants to Make It Better
- 93. Angst and Letting Go
- 94. A Girl Works a Meeting
- 95. Angst and Wine
- 96. A Girl Is Enjoying Herself
- 97. Angst and Bridges
- 98. A Girl Is Going for It
- 99. Angst and Los Angeles
- 100. Angst and Hope
- 101. A Girl Has One More Letter
- 102. A Girl Is Trying Again
- 103. Angst and Pride
- 104. A Girl Is Freaking Flying
- Epilogue
- JAMIE
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Christine Riccio
- About the Author
- Newsletter Sign-up
Dawn answers the door, no longer dressed, but wearing a robe covered in a pattern of yellow ducks and pajamas like she’s showered and gotten ready for bed since we last talked. Her pajamas are color coordinated, a faded baby yellow color. Her hair is pushed back in a matching headband. She’s not wearing any makeup. She still looks gorgeous.
“Hi!” I squeak. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“Long time no see,” she says quietly as I step into the house and shove off the yellow boots. I didn’t lace them up this time. “What’s all that?” She points to my bags.
“Oh, ingredients for dinner.”
“What are we having?”
“Homemade pizza?” I say hesitantly.
A sad, breathy laugh falls out of her.
“Do you not want … I thought you—”
“No, no, that’s great, okay.” We head through the living room. “Is there really a big SOS, or were you overwhelmed with a desperate need to share the full scoop re: body snatcher–gate?”
We round the corner into a lovely pink and white kitchen. It’s like a clean, pristine lady cave.
“Um, there is an SOS, but I can also tell you about … body snatcher–gate.” I put the groceries on the gray marble island at the center of the area and glance around. “Do you have parents?”
Dawn circles the island so she’s standing across from me. “Yeah, my mom’s at work. It’s just the two of us.” She ducks down, opens a cabinet, and returns holding a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“Oh.” I start unloading ingredients, eyeing the wine. Wine feels romantic. “Should we make her a pizza too?”
Dawn shakes her head. “She was called into the hospital for emergency reconstructive surgery; she won’t be home till late.”
“Oh, whoa. Does she get called in for stuff like that a lot?” I start rummaging through Dawn’s cabinets and grabbing different cooking tools as I come across them. I find some wax paper and spread a large piece over the counter.
Dawn watches me for a second, her mouth flipping up in a small smile. “Um, yeah, every so often. She’s a plastic surgeon so she does the majority of her surgeries during business hours, but she gets called in whenever there’s an emergency that requires her skill set. She’s doing facial reconstructive surgery for someone who was in a car accident.”
My mouth falls open. “Holy excrement. That’s intense.”
Dawn nods. “Yeah, she’s kind of a badass.” She uncorks the wine and starts pouring it out.
“Is holy excrement like holy shit?” Dawn asks as she fills a second glass.
I busy my hands measuring ingredients. “Um yeah, my mom has a thing with bad words, she uses … other words instead and has ever since I can remember. I guess I’m more comfortable saying them than the actual curses.”