Chapters (116)
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Dedication
- PART 1
- 1. Angst
- 2. Angst and the Journey
- 3. A Girl Is Mildly Traumatized
- 4. A Girl Is Off to Colorado, Apparently
- 5. Angst and Socializing
- 6. A Girl Is Here for the Introspection
- 7. Angst and the Shower Girl
- 8.???
- 9. Angst and Fishing
- 10. A Girl Is Sampling Sisterhood
- 11. Angst and Swimming
- 12. Is a Girl Alive?
- 13. Angst and All-Consuming Confusion
- 14. A Girl Is Clammy
- 15. Angst and Older Sisters
- 16. A Girl Has Been Caught Off Guard
- 17. Angst and Flashbacks
- 18. A Girl Is Trying to Reconnect
- 19. Angst and Reprocessing
- 20. A Girl Is a Little Disoriented
- 21. Angst and Hypothetical Miracles
- 22. A Girl Is Not Doing That
- 23. Angst and Fire Choir
- 24. A Girl Is Rapt with Attention
- 25. Angst and Metal
- PART 2
- 26. A Girl Is Playing the Long Game
- 27. Angst and Hikes
- 28. A Girl Thinks This Pitch Is Going Well
- 29. Angst and Saying Yes
- 30. A Girl Is on Her Ass
- 31. Angst and Cellular Device Access
- 32. Angst and Goodbyes
- 33. A Girl Is on a Plane
- 34. Angst and the Middle Seat
- 35. A Girl Doesn’t Understand Your Compliment
- 36. Angst and LAX
- 37. A Girl Is Going to Implode if Siri Keeps Ignoring Her Calls
- 38. A Girl Has Never Been to Her Mom’s House
- 39. Angst and Salons
- 40. A Girl Appreciates a Donut
- 41. Angst and Jamie’s Room
- 42. Angst and Dad
- 43. A Girl Can Rock a Catfish
- 44. Angst and Rom-Coms
- 45. A Girl Needs Adventure
- 46. Angst and Improv Practice
- 47. A Girl Fancies Zarar
- 48. Angst and Empathy
- 49. A Girl Is Questioning Everything
- 50. Angst and Pizza Hangs
- 51. A Girl Is Taking All the Calls
- 52. Angst and Good/Bad News
- 53. Angst and Preparation
- 54. A Girl Needs to Do Better
- 55. A Girl Is on Time for Once
- 56. Angst and Emails
- 57. A Girl Gets Feedback
- 58. Angst and Expectations
- 59. A Girl Is on the Train Again
- 60. Angst and a Barbecue
- 61. A Girl Does Family Dinner
- 62. A Girl Is Braving Another Open Mic
- 63. Angst and Ice Cream
- 64. A Girl Needs a Break
- 65. Angst and Vulnerability
- 66. A Girl Is at a Rooftop Soiree
- 67. Angst and Ideas
- 68. A Girl Is Conflicted
- 69. Angst and Storytime
- 70. A Girl Is Inferior
- 71. Angst and Preparations
- 72. A Girl Meets a Family
- 73. A Girl Has Lost Control
- 74. A Girl Is a Hot Mess
- PART 3
- 75. Angst and Road Trips
- 76. A Girl Is Running on Fumes
- 77. Angst and Recall
- 78. A Girl Is Having Trouble with This
- 79. Angst and Resolve
- 80. Angst and Confrontation
- 81. A Girl Is Hanging with Her Family!
- 82. A Girl’s Head Is Spinning
- 83. A Girl Ruined Everything
- 84. Angst and Intervention
- 85. A Girl Is Not Sure How to Proceed
- 86. Angst and Support
- 87. A Girl Has Some Work to Do
- 88. Angst and Progress
- 89. A Girl Isn’t Tired
- 90. Angst and Birthdays
- 91. A Girl Is Voluntarily Here
- 92. A Girl Wants to Make It Better
- 93. Angst and Letting Go
- 94. A Girl Works a Meeting
- 95. Angst and Wine
- 96. A Girl Is Enjoying Herself
- 97. Angst and Bridges
- 98. A Girl Is Going for It
- 99. Angst and Los Angeles
- 100. Angst and Hope
- 101. A Girl Has One More Letter
- 102. A Girl Is Trying Again
- 103. Angst and Pride
- 104. A Girl Is Freaking Flying
- Epilogue
- JAMIE
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Christine Riccio
- About the Author
- Newsletter Sign-up
“I’ve only known you for twenty-four hours, and I already think you’re incredible.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I do! For starters, your baby blue eyeshadow and winged eyeliner are perfect.”
Dawn rolls her eyes.
“They are,” I insist.
She sighs. “My ex was a beauty guru. I was trained by an extremely judgmental professional.”
“Oh.” I press my lips together. “I’m sorry…”
We’re silent for a moment.
“I don’t really follow beauty gurus,” I say quietly. “But I had a major crush on this one girl who was big on YouTube when I was in high school. I watched her tutorials religiously … and I didn’t learn anything. It takes skill to acquire those eye makeup capabilities, not just a teacher.”
Dawn studies me curiously. “Hm. It’s so weird to see someone who’s not Jamie … dressed like her.” She sniffles. “It’s really messing with my brain. If we’re going to continue hanging out, I’m going to need you to be you.”
I am genuinely shocked. “I—Wa—You want to keep hanging out with me?”
She shrugs. “I mean, I’d like to get to know my best friend’s long-lost sister.”
“I—I’d love that.”
A muffled sob slips out of Dawn, and her face crumples in on itself again. I scoot over and pull her into a hug, the sweet scent of her hair tickling my nose.
“I’m sorry.” I hold on to her for an extra moment before pulling away.
“You know,” Dawn says as she swipes away her tears, “Jamie’s not a hugger. We high-five when she wants to get across the sentiment of a hug.”
My mouth pops open. “I’m so sorry—”
She waves me off. “No, it’s fine. It was a great hug; I’m just sharing.”
I frown. “I guess that’s why I was straight up shut down at the airport when I kind of raised my arms.”
Dawn nods. “She’s a strange one.”
I laugh. “Tell me about it.”
Dawn is still watching me carefully, like she’s afraid I’ll shape-shift again into yet another stranger. It’s making me hyperaware of my movements.
“You laugh different. Some of your facial features are freakishly similar. But you use them differently. It’s unsettling.” Dawn shakes her head, her eyes clearing and refocusing on mine. “I don’t want to seem rude, but … I think I have to kick you out. I need some time to process all this. Would you mind giving me some time alone?”
I leap up from the couch. “Of course, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstay my welcome.”
Dawn shakes her head. “It’s okay, Siri. I wasn’t lying, I’m down to hang out. But I just had a huge fight with Jamie and—”
“You need a second. I get it. I completely get it.” I hustle toward the door and start pulling on Jamie’s yellow boots.