'Even more casual!' he says. 'You're very casual about adding the sauce to give the pizza pizzazz! Remember that!'

I slide back in my chair and attempt to adopt a casual pose so's he can see I've taken his direction to heart.

'Give ... your pizza ... pizzazz,' I say, purposely avoiding any sort of exclamation mark.

'Good,' he says. 'Good. But I need it sort of casual ... yet ... urgent.'

'Sort of slower but quicker?' I say, trying to understand.

'Precisely!' he says. 'Let's try that.'

I clear my throat and think about how to say something slower yet quicker. He checks I'm ready then presses Record.

'Giveyourpizza ... pizzazz!' I say.

'Again, but different!' he shouts.

'Giveyour pizza ... pizzazz!' I say.

'Keep going!'

'Give your pizza PIZZAZZ! Give your pizzapizzazz! Giiive your pizza a lot of pizzazz please! Give - '

'OK, that's not really working,' he says, waving his hand at me with disdain. 'What we need is more of a sense of drama ... while at the same time lending the sentence a certain ... throwaway quality.'

'So ... loud ... but ...'

'Yeah,' he says. 'That's it. Loud but ... you know ...'

'Quiet?'

'You've got it,' he says, nodding.

'OK ... and do you still want it casual but -'

'Urgent, yes. Thanks, Danny. When you're ready.'

He takes his finger off the button and presses Record. I stare through the glass at him. He's closing his eyes, ready to see what I hit him with next. I take a deep breath.

'Give your pizza pizzazz?' I try, unsurely. He still has his eyes closed. I add some confidence. 'Give your pizza pizzazz!'

He has still not opened his eyes. Was it quick and slow enough?

'GIVE your PIZZA PIZZAZZ!' I say. 'GIVE YOUR pizza pizzazz.'

Still no response.

'GIVE YOUR PIZZA PIZZAZZ!' I try. 'GIVE YOUR PIZZA PIZZAZZ!'

Now I am just a man shouting 'give your pizza pizzazz' on my own in a booth. I decide to mix it up a little. Maybe he wants me to ad-lib. Directors love that kind of thing.

'PIZZAZZ YOUR PIZZA!' I shout. 'PIZZAZZ IT RIGHT UP! PIZZAZZ IT 'TIL IT POPS!'

His eyes snap open.

'Hmm,' he says. 'I like it, don't get me wrong, I do like it, but...'

'You also don't like it?'

'Yes,' he says.

I am embarrassed, and start to think that maybe he should do it himself.

'Let me put it this way,' he says. 'Imagine you've just come home, and you've got a lovely pizza waiting for you ...'

Oh, no. I can see where this is going.

'And you like that pizza, you've been looking forward to it all day ...'

But I want to give it a pizzazz.

'But when you come to open that pizza up ...'

I realise it needs pizzazz.