Minutes later, I throw my bacon double cheeseburger meal on to the passenger seat. I am alone with my food, and soon I will be home, smelling of fries and Fanta, but it is dark, and so I switch the inside light on, and I start to gorge myself on food. I turn on the radio, and swig my Fanta, and somehow the sugar is already in my veins, and so I go with the moment, and start to jig my head about as Heart belts out a Will Young song I have never heard before and will never hear again. I can see my own reflection in my windscreen, and I look cool, and I bite into my cheeseburger and see how many fries I can stick in my mouth at once.

And then the food is gone, and I sit alone in the car park, away from the Others, and I happily watch my reflection as I do a little burp.

'I am ready!' I say to myself, and I put the keys in the ignition, start the car, and turn the headlights on.

And then I see him. The man from earlier. The man with the cheeseburger.

He is sitting in the car right opposite me, eight feet away, looking embarrassed. He is all lit up, and trying not to seem self-conscious as he wipes the ketchup from his mouth.

I realise he has been watching me, as I jig about to Will Young, shoving fries into my face and smiling at myself as I do little burps.

I half-smile at him, and he half-smiles back, and I imagine we both think about how sad it is that we have to split a smile.

MEN

It's already been quite an annoying day.

There are builders tramping about on our roof, and I'm on hold with the phone company, who've decided I'm not to use my mobile any more.

'You've been downloading quite a lot of e-mails!' they say, chirpily, when finally they answer.

'Yes,' I say. 'But only the ones I've been sent!'

We both enjoy a little chuckle.

'Well,' says the man, 'because you've downloaded some of them while you've been abroad, I'm afraid your bill is a little larger than normal!'

'Oh dear!' I say, cheerily. 'Oh well. What do I owe you?'

There's a pause.

'It's just over one thousand pounds for the month,' says the man.

I am slightly stunned. And my stomach turns. Because already I know it's hopeless to argue. They'll always win. That's what happens.

'A thous-?' I start, but then my wife walks into the room.

'That builder outside has just been rude to me!' she says, shocked.

Rude? Someone's been rude? Outside my house? To my wife?

I make an apologetic face and point at the phone but she continues.