'We have to think bigger, Colin! Lynx won't make us supple!' Colin takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye.

'This is all because you've booked yourself into a one-hour Yoga for Beginners course, isn't it?'

'Yes!' I say, delighted. 'I am being the change I want to see in the world! Just like you!'

He looks embarrassed.

'Thing is, I'm not actually doing yoga.'

I balk. I am not sure I have ever balked before, or even what it's supposed to look like, but that was a definite balk. Colin shakes his head and takes a sip of his pint.

'I never actually went in the end. I decided my time was better spent elsewhere.'

'Where?'

'Here.'

I was annoyed with Colin. How dare he propose we become lithe and then actively de-lithe himself? But then he got me another shandy and I didn't mind so much.

'Well, I'm going to continue,' I said, deciding. 'I'm going to see this Yoga for Beginners thing through, and then I'm going to see what else the world of the metrosexual has to offer.'

And as I say the words, I know I will. This is just the beginning of a whole new me. A me that will embrace the chances afforded me by living in an area of town that has metrosexual written all over it. Not literally, obviously, as graffiti artists find that quite hard to spell.

But an area full of opportunities. Full of Ashtanga Centres! Maybe I'll become a Buddhist! Maybe I'll buy some seashells to put in a bowl in my bathroom! Maybe I'll get one of those tiny Japanese Zen gardens and spend idle hours with a miniature rake and some sand! Or a birthing pool! I could always buy a birthing pool!

I will try these things. First I will try Yoga for Beginners - and then I will change.

'Enjoying your shandy?' says Colin.

'Not really,' I say.

'Pint?'

'Go on, then.'

SIGNS

A friend-of-a-friend is giving me a lift all the way to Edinburgh in his car.

We have not spoken since we passed Nottingham, but suddenly, the silence is broken.

'Wholesale prices!' he says, completely out of the blue.

'Sorry?' I say. I had been thinking about rainbows, and I'm slightly startled.

'That sign there,' he says. 'It said "Wholesale Prices".'

'Oh,' I say. 'Did it?'

I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. That was his whole story. He had seen a sign which read 'Wholesale Prices'.

That's strange, I think, turning back to stare at the road. Why would he say that? Why would he see a sign saying 'Wholesale Prices' and think, I'm going to read that out loud to my fellow passenger?